


Jump Start My Heart

by ariadnerue



Series: Powerful [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Jessica Jones - Freeform, Marvel/DC/Carmilla crossover, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8032849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadnerue/pseuds/ariadnerue
Summary: Laura Hollis was sleeping with her boss’s little sister. So that was weird.a.k.a. a series of oneshots set in the AU in which Laura is Supergirl and Carmilla is Jessica Jones and they fall in love anyway because they're dorks.





	1. a.k.a. the boss's little sister

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't necessarily intend to continue this, but then I was talking to my tumblr bro dontletyourfeettouchtheground about it and it just kind of happened. So this is an open ended series, I guess. I'll probably add more as inspiration strikes.
> 
> Thanks for all the love for the first one! YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.
> 
> Title from the song "Powerful" by Major Lazer feat. Ellie Goulding.

Laura Hollis was sleeping with her boss’s little sister.

In her defense, she had only known she was her boss’s little sister for a week. And also they were technically a couple now. Like an actual going on dates, saying ‘I love you,’ holding hands walking down the street, calling each other ‘my girlfriend’ kind of couple. The real deal.

And as nice as all that was, it didn’t change the fact that Laura Hollis was sleeping with her boss’s little sister.

And she had been for like four and a half months.

So that was weird.

Carmilla kept insisting that it wasn’t a big deal, that Mattie would think it was hilarious. But Laura was still a nervous wreck over it, because the Mattie Carmilla knew seemed very different from the Miss Belmonde Laura knew. And admired. And respected. And she was screwing her little sister.

So Laura still hadn’t told her. She knew it would have to come out eventually. Miss Belmonde was Carmilla’s only family, and Laura was kind of crazy in love with Carmilla. It was only a matter of time.

It just seemed like more time would be better.

And it sure didn’t help that Carmilla had been sending flowers to Laura’s desk every day this week. It didn’t really hurt, as Miss Belmonde didn’t even notice, but still, it was drawing attention. On Monday, when a little potted African violet was waiting on Laura’s desk with a card that just read ‘for your desk, cupcake,’ it seemed harmless.

That night, curled up in Carmilla’s arms while she read a book, Laura thanked her for the gift.

“I don’t know what you mean, cupcake. Sounds like you have a secret admirer.”

It was adorable, the way Carmilla tried not to smile, focusing hard on the words on the page over Laura’s shoulder. Laura didn’t push her, just snuggled in closer and pressed a kiss to Carmilla’s cheek.

On Tuesday, the small vase of native violets that joined the little clay pot from Monday caused a bit of teasing from Lafontaine, Laura’s friend and the resident IT specialist, and a rather moody look from Danny, the layout designer Laura had had a crush on when she first started at MatCo.

Over a dinner of leftover Thai food at Carmilla’s apartment, Laura brought up the new delivery of flowers. Carmilla just gave her a coy little smirk and a blasé shrug of her shoulders, suggesting that whoever this secret admirer was seemed to have some kind of plan. Laura stole the last half spring roll right out of Carmilla’s chopsticks, setting off a tickle war that ended in sex that broke Carmilla’s floor. Oops.

On Wednesday, a vase of Alpine violets was waiting for her, and the whole office was taking notice. Perry, Miss Belmonde’s legal advisor, accosted Laura with questions on her lunch break, wondering who this mystery woman was that kept sending such lovely arrangements. Danny had become rather standoffish by this point, and Lafontaine thought the whole thing was hilarious.

They were the three at the office that knew Laura was Supergirl. So any girl that was going to such trouble to sweep her off her feet was a topic of great interest to them.

“I don’t know, darling, but it sounds pretty romantic to me,” was all Carmilla said on the subject as they were falling asleep in Laura’s bed that night.

By Thursday, when a planter of wood violets joined the African violet on Laura’s desk (she’d taken the other two bouquets home), Danny was being friendly again, which was a huge relief. Perry was giddy. Laf continued teasing. Miss Belmonde continued not noticing. Laura didn’t even bother asking Carmilla about it that night, but she picked up sticky buns from Carmilla’s favorite bakery on the way home from work. Carmilla was extra affectionate the whole evening.

When Friday rolled around, a week since Laura had nearly knocked Carmilla out of her bed in shock when she learned that Mattie was short for Matska, Laura was simultaneously having the best week of her life and completely at the end of her rope. Every time Miss Belmonde looked at her, she was convinced she just _knew_ somehow, and it was wearing on her nerves. She was barely listening as she prepared to leave for her lunch break, standing at Miss Belmonde’s desk while she explained that yes, Lyra, I did have you schedule this conference call with the board of directors during my lunch break on purpose, because that old prune Vordenberg feels inferior when I eat in front of him.

But her attention was snapped back to Miss Belmonde when she paused and looked past Laura to her door, a smile growing on her face.

“Little Monster, how many times do I have to tell you to let me know before you drop by?” she asked in a chastising, albeit fond, tone. Laura froze, eyes wide, and couldn’t seem to turn around. “I have a conference call during my lunch break today, can’t avoid it.”

“That’s fine,” Carmilla said, and the sound of her voice seemed to overcome whatever had Laura frozen in place. She finally looked over to find Carmilla smiling at her, pulling a gorgeous little bouquet of common blue violets out from behind her back. “I’m actually here to take your assistant out to lunch.”

Laura couldn’t help the way she lit up, completely forgetting that Miss Belmonde was even in the same galaxy, let alone the same room, as she reached forward and took the flowers.

“They’re beautiful, Carm,” she heard herself say quietly, and Carmilla’s smile was wide and pleased when she leaned in for a quick, soft kiss. Her mouth tasted like coffee and chocolate and Laura had to bite her lip to stop her grin from overtaking her whole face. “Thank you.”

“Glad you like them, sweetheart,” Carmilla replied lowly, and before she knew it Laura was being led out of Miss Belmonde’s office by the hand. “Have a good conference call, Mattie.”

Laura finally had the presence of mind to look back at her boss as they left. Miss Belmonde was sitting ramrod straight in her chair, mouth open slightly in surprise, gaze fixed on Carmilla.

“She’s going to kill me,” Laura blurted when they were sitting down at the diner down the street, and Carmilla rolled her eyes fondly. “Or fire me. Oh my god, I’m fired.”

“Laura, she’s not going to fire you,” Carmilla assured her, reaching over the table for her hands and giving them a solid squeeze. Laura pouted and Carmilla laughed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about what I was doing earlier, okay? But I knew you were freaking out, and I knew you would freak out even more if I told you beforehand. So I took it out of your hands and now it’s out there.”

Laura sighed, a smile tugging at her lips that Carmilla grinned at.

“Okay, fine, that was actually really sweet,” she admitted, and Carmilla just hummed quietly in response. “I love you, you know.”

“I know,” Carmilla murmured, and like she always did when Laura said it, Carmilla blushed and looked down at their hands on the table. “I love you too.” She withdrew her hands as the waiter came by with their soup and sandwiches. “Now let’s just enjoy a nice lunch and not worry about my sister, shall we?”

Laura actually managed to listen to Carmilla’s advice for the rest of their meal, and for the walk back to the office. It was hard to worry with their fingers interlaced and Laura swinging their hands a bit between them. But the nerves came back while they stood in the elevator, and Carmilla noticed.

She had Laura up against the wall of the elevator before she could blink, lips curved into a smile as they pressed into Laura’s. And Laura hadn’t even realized how badly she’d needed this until she let out a blissful sigh and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck.

“I’m so glad you liked all the flowers, darling,” Carmilla purred in Laura’s ear, making her breath hitch before she started kissing a slow path down Laura’s neck.

“Carm,” Laura sighed, hands curling into fists on Carmilla’s hips. “We really shouldn’t…”

“That’s what makes it fun,” Carmilla grinned against the soft skin beneath Laura’s chin.

“Dude, seriously?”

Carmilla jumped and Laura turned her head toward the elevator doors so fast her neck cricked. Laf and Perry were standing there, Perry with her hands over her eyes and Laf with their hands on their hips and a shit-eating grin.

“You’ve reached your floor,” Laf snickered, shaking their head.

“Oh my god,” Laura groaned, and she could feel herself blushing so she turned and buried her face in Carmilla’s neck.

“You must be Lafontaine and Perry,” Carmilla smirked, stepping back from Laura and grabbing her hand. “I’ve heard terrible things about you.”

“Carm…”

“Carmilla, in my office, now,” Miss Belmonde barked from somewhere behind Laf and Perry. “You too, Lyra.”

Laura immediately panicked and went to press the ground floor button of the elevator, but Carmilla just dragged her out by the hand. Before she was even remotely ready, Laura was sitting in a chair in front of Miss Belmonde’s desk, Carmilla in the chair beside her and her hand still tight in Carmilla’s.

Miss Belmonde just stared at them, switching her gaze between them every so often. Carmilla just stared back, bored, but Laura was practically squirming in her seat.

“Miss Belmonde I’m so sorry I was going to tell you I swear,” she finally blurted, unable to take it anymore. “But I promise I didn’t even know she was your sister until a week ago and up until then we weren’t even dating it was mostly just sex.” Laura shut her mouth with an audible clack of her teeth when Miss Belmonde’s eyes went wide. “Aaaand I really shouldn’t have told you that, oh my god.”

“You both know I do not like surprises,” Miss Belmonde began after another long silence, but then Carmilla sat up in her chair.

“None of this was Laura’s idea, Mattie,” Carmilla drawled, squeezing Laura’s hand for reassurance. “She was as surprised to see me show up as you were. And by the way, her name is _Laura_ , not Lyra, and if you already knew that and this is some kind of power play bullshit, let me tell you, that’s the kind of thing your mother would do.”

Miss Belmonde’s mouth fell open. So did Laura’s.

“And besides that, I wasn’t trying to blindside you,” Carmilla continued, glancing over at Laura and giving her a quiet smile. “I’ve been sending you a message all week. You’re just too important now, I guess, to pay attention to what’s literally right in front of you.”

Carmilla pointed behind her through the glass walls of Miss Belmonde’s office, and her sister’s gaze followed. Laura looked too, only to find her pointing at… her desk. Covered in violets.

“Violets?” Miss Belmonde asked quietly, and Laura’s eyes snapped back to her boss. That was a tone of voice she’d never heard before, and she was surprised by the softness of her expression as she looked at Carmilla. “You’ve been sending her violets.”

“Yeah,” Carmilla shrugged, and Laura was even more surprised to see her girlfriend blushing.

“Do they mean something special?” Laura asked quietly, and Carmilla smiled at her again.

“When Mattie and I were younger, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between my own feelings and… whatever Mother told me to feel,” she began haltingly, and Laura squeezed her hand. “So we made our own language. If I was really happy, I’d hum the Spice Girls. If I was really upset or hurt by someone, I wouldn’t look them in the eyes. And if I was really in love with someone…” She paused and drew Laura’s hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I’d send her violets.”

Laura’s heart felt like it was too large for her chest when she smiled at Carmilla, because the look Carmilla was giving her right then was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

“I love you so much,” Laura sighed, and Carmilla laughed lightly, embarrassed.

“She knows about Mother,” Miss Belmonde said, eyes fixed on Laura. Carmilla nodded. “And about you?” Another nod. Miss Belmonde was silent for a few long moments, still just staring at Laura. Then a slow smile spread across her face. “I knew it. You _are_ Supergirl.”

Laura choked on her inhale, coughing for a few breaths as Carmilla patted her on the back.

“What, uh… what are you- uh, what?” Laura spluttered, and Carmilla just kept rubbing her back gently, concerned. “We’ve been over this before, Miss Belmonde, remember?” Laura shot a panicked look at Carmilla. “I uh… I met Supergirl, here, in your office. I couldn’t…”

“Yes how did you manage that?” Miss Belmonde asked, leaning forward interestedly. “I understand Kryptonian technology is quite advanced, was it a hologram? A robot?”

Laura just sat there with her mouth hanging open, blinking. Carmilla cleared her throat.

“Mattie, I’m sure that’s not…” Carmilla began, putting on a very good approximation of her usual disaffected drawl, but Mattie apparently saw right through her.

“You’ve known all along, haven’t you?” she cut Carmilla off swiftly, practically clapping her hands in excitement. “Wait, that’s why you two were sleeping together in the first place, wasn’t it? I know you always worry about hurting people, Carmilla, but you couldn’t hurt _Supergirl_ …”

“Holy shit, Mattie,” Carmilla groaned.

“Okay,” Laura blurted, and the sisters looked at her in shock. Laura sighed, shoulders slumping. “It’s true. I’m Supergirl.”

“Laura, you don’t have to…” Carmilla began gently, leaning in toward her and reaching up to run a hand through her hair. Laura hummed comfortably at the touch.

“It’s okay, Carm,” Laura replied quietly, putting a hand softly on Carmilla’s knee. “She would have found out eventually. She’s your family.” Carmilla smiled a bit and Laura sighed. “Besides, Betty already knows about you. It’s only fair.”

“Cupcake…”

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” Miss Belmonde said quietly, and Laura had once again practically forgotten she was there. But she was looking at Carmilla with a fond smile on her face that Laura had never seen, and Carmilla was blushing again. “It’s nice. To see you so happy.”

“Thanks, Mattie,” Carmilla murmured, and Laura squeezed her knee.

“Well I wouldn’t want to ruin this for you,” Miss Belmonde went on, sitting back in her chair. “So I suppose I’ll have to keep your secret, Laura.”

Laura almost didn’t recognize her own name out of Miss Belmonde’s mouth.

“And thank you, again, for everything you’ve done for National City,” Miss Belmonde went on with a small smile. “And for my sister. And for me.”

“Um…” Laura mumbled, blushing, and Carmilla just laughed as she got to her feet. “Wait where are you going?”

“Your lunch break is over, creampuff,” Carmilla murmured against Laura’s temple, planting a kiss there as she headed for the door. “Dinner at your place tonight?”

“Yeah,” Laura replied faintly, watching her go. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

And she was gone, leaving Laura sitting in Miss Belmonde’s office. With Miss Belmonde. Who was just sitting there, smiling at Laura when she turned back to face her.

“You really do love her,” Miss Belmonde stated simply, tilting her head a bit to the side.

“Yeah,” Laura repeated. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed hard.

“Well she was right, your lunch break is over. You already have the list of calls you need to make before the day is over, so I suggest you get back to work,” Miss Belmonde said, suddenly all business again. Laura got clumsily to her feet and made for the door. “Laura.”

Laura froze, glancing back, but Miss Belmonde was looking down at her tablet screen. She made a ‘shoo’ gesture at her, so Laura just smiled and went out the door.

“Way to go, L,” Laf said when Laura flopped into her desk chair. “You didn’t get canned.”

“Somehow,” Laura sighed, smiling over at her friend.

“So are you gonna tell us about this girl now? Because if you don’t, Perry is going to have an actual conniption.”

“Okay, fine, fine…”

* * *

 

“So, did you get fired?”

Laura shut the door behind her with a roll of her eyes. Carmilla was sitting on Laura’s couch like she owned the place, but when she saw that Laura’s arms were full of the planter and bouquet of violets from the past two days, she jumped to her feet to help.

“No, I didn’t get fired,” Laura sighed, but she couldn’t make herself sound too annoyed. Not when Carmilla pressed a kiss to her lips as she took the planter from her arms. “Thank you.”

“Is she actually calling you Laura now?” Carmilla teased, depositing the planter on the kitchen island beside a bag of what smelled like Laura’s favorite Lebanese takeout.

“Yes, and it’s weird,” Laura sighed, placing her bouquet carefully in the sink before she practically threw herself into Carmilla’s arms. Carmilla yelped and they both tumbled over, landing on the kitchen floor in a tangle of limbs. Carmilla let out a slightly pained laugh as Laura sat up, straddling her waist and taking her face in her hands. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me,” Carmilla said through a grin, and Laura just shook her head and kissed her.

“But I will anyway,” Laura murmured, leaning back in to kiss her over and over between laughs.

So she was sleeping with her boss’s little sister.

But she was also in love with her boss’s little sister, and that made everything so much better.


	2. a.k.a. the sunburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla was grumpy to begin with, but add a sunburn and she was downright ornery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I love Carmilla being back, I'm hella inspired. NOW GET READY FOR SOME SADNESS.

Carmilla was sunburned.

She was grumpy to begin with, but add a sunburn and she was downright ornery.

It probably didn’t help that Betty kept laughing at her.

“You’re just usually so pale,” Betty snorted, leaning across Laura’s kitchen table and pouring more wine into Carmilla’s glass. “Now you look like an angry little lobster.”

Carmilla just grunted and lifted the glass to her lips for a long drink, glaring across the table. Betty just kept laughing and poured more for herself.

This was becoming a more common occurrence lately, Carmilla having dinner with Laura and her sister. It was clear from the beginning that Betty was an important part of Laura’s life. They were much closer than Carmilla was with Mattie. They had dinner together at least once a week, plus they worked together at the DEO. Which would have been annoying if Carmilla didn’t… actually like Betty?

She couldn’t quite figure it out. She was so different from Laura, but then maybe that was it. Laura was not the type of girl she ever saw herself falling in love with, and yet here she was. Betty was more like a serious, put-together version of Carmilla with years of training and a gun instead of superpowers.

And they enjoyed drinking wine together. Which was good, because Laura was on the phone with her dad and simultaneously trying to find aloe in her bathroom, despite both Carmilla and Betty being pretty sure she didn’t even own aloe because she was physically unable to get sunburned. So she would probably be in there for at least half an hour.

“It wasn’t my idea to go to the beach and just sit there in blazing direct sunlight all day,” Carmilla sighed, kicking her feet up on the edge of the table and swirling the wine in her glass. “I didn’t mind, but it wasn’t my idea.”

Betty frowned thoughtfully, nose in her glass.

“You just sat in the sun?” she asked quietly. “On a beach?” Carmilla nodded. “Where?”

“She flew us to this little rock beach somewhere,” Carmilla shrugged. “Nobody else was there. I think it was near Midvale.”

Betty sat back in her chair, setting her glass carefully on the table. She took a deep breath and sighed.

“She took you to her beach,” she said, and she looked somewhere between shocked and elated. She shook her head, smiling. “Wow. I mean I knew she loved you but… you must really be something special.”

“Her beach?” Carmilla repeated. She wasn’t sure what to do with the compliment, so she just drank more wine.

“She took me there a few times,” Betty said with a fond smile, leaning her elbows on the table and perching her chin on her hand. “When we were kids. She liked it because um… the plants and animals and everything on Earth are so different from Krypton, but they had oceans and beaches. She would go there to think or to be alone or just to pretend she was still back home, I guess.”

Carmilla just nodded silently. It was so easy to forget Laura was from a different planet.

“Has she ever… told you about her religion?” Betty asked after a long silence. Carmilla glanced up to find Betty watching her, tapping her fingers slowly on the table. “Or I guess… the religion of her people. She still… I think she still considers it hers.”

“Not really,” Carmilla said with a frown. She didn’t know how this was relevant, but Betty seemed to have a point she was getting to, so she didn’t say anything further. Betty nodded.

“It’s all about light with Kryptonians,” Betty explained quietly, lips twitching into a smile. “Laura once told me that she sees the people of this city as shining lights. Everyone is a beautiful point of light, like stars. And when her aunt…” Betty trailed off for a moment, suddenly far away. Carmilla knew that look. Something about Laura’s aunt. Betty was haunted by it. “When she was killed, here on Earth, Laura told me a bit about their funeral rites. How when a Kryptonian dies, their family stands in vigil for two weeks, preserving their memory so they can travel safely to Rao’s light.”

“Rao,” Carmilla repeated, brow furrowing. “I recognize that.”

She didn’t mention that she’d only heard the name Rao on the two or three occasions when the sex had been so good Laura switched from English to Kryptonian without realizing it. Didn’t seem like the kind of thing her sister needed to know.

“I think Rao was their sun,” Betty went on, staring pensively at her half-empty wine glass before taking another long drink. “He’s their version of God, anyway. So she kind of… uses our sun as a stand in. So she took you to that beach that reminds her of her home, and she had you sit out in the sun that connects her to her people.” Carmilla took a deep breath. She was starting to figure out where this was going, and it was making her heart ache. “That was Laura’s version of introducing you to her parents. Her _real_ parents.”

“Geez, how much have you guys had to drink?”

Betty and Carmilla both jumped, turning to see Laura strolling toward them with, shockingly, a bottle of aloe vera in her hand. She was blushing a little bit, avoiding Carmilla’s eyes with a demure smile.

“Usually the sappy conversations don’t start with you two until you’re much drunker than this,” she said with a shrug, and Carmilla grinned when she walked behind her and ran a hand along her shoulders, fingers skimming through her hair and tickling the back of her neck.

“Sorry,” Betty sighed, shaking her head and pushing the wine bottle toward the center of the table. Laura sat down in the chair beside Carmilla’s and glanced at her sister curiously. “I just told her everything and it wasn’t really my stuff to tell.”

Laura just laughed lightly, scooting her chair closer and reaching up to tuck Carmilla’s hair behind her ears for her.

“It’s okay, I was going to tell her anyway,” she said quietly, tossing a smile across the table at her sister. “I was a little nervous, actually. You saved me the trouble.”

“So it’s true?” Carmilla asked softly, and Laura’s eyes snapped back to hers. “You were… introducing me to your parents?”

“Yeah, in a way,” Laura murmured with a smile, and Carmilla could tell she was still nervous, avoiding Carmilla’s eyes again. She turned her attention to the aloe, squeezing some onto her palm. “I mean… I know you’ll never actually get to meet them, but sitting in the sun on that beach… I feel closer to them, and I wanted you to be there too this time.” She dipped two fingers into the gel on her hand and leaned in close to Carmilla, smoothing it onto the red skin of Carmilla’s cheeks. It was cold and it tingled, and Laura smiled at the way Carmilla shivered just a bit. “Is that okay?”

Carmilla wasn’t sure if she was asking about the aloe or the fact that Laura just wanted to be with her, but in both situations her answer was the same.

“Of course,” Carmilla hummed quietly, closing her eyes comfortably as Laura carefully rubbed the aloe into her skin. She was gentle, always so gentle, when it came to things like this, even when she didn’t have to be.

“Okay, I think that’s my cue to leave,” Betty said loudly, pushing her chair back noisily and causing Laura to jump. She had apparently forgotten her sister was in the room, and Carmilla laughed.

“Sorry,” Laura said sincerely, turning to her sister and giving her the puppy eyes.

“It’s fine, I know seduction eyes when I see them,” Betty grimaced, and Carmilla let out another laugh at Laura’s blush. “I’d rather not get caught in the middle of… whatever is about to happen here.” She gestured broadly toward Laura, Carmilla, and the bottles of wine and aloe vera on the table. “Thanks for dinner.”

“See you later,” Carmilla smirked as she headed through the door.

“Love you!” Laura called after her, smiling when she got a quick “love you too” back just before the door closed behind her. When she turned back toward Carmilla, she was smirking at her, and Laura groaned and dropped her head to Carmilla’s shoulder.

“Don’t be embarrassed, darling,” Carmilla teased, running her hands slowly up Laura’s back. Laura sighed at the action. “Now I hate to be pushy, but I think a lot more of me is sunburned besides just my cheeks.”

Laura sat up and smirked at Carmilla. She wasn’t one to smirk very often, but when she did it always made Carmilla’s heart race.

“Well that just won’t do at all,” Laura tutted, her voice dangerously low as she reached for the hem of Carmilla’s tank top. “Don’t worry, babe.” She leaned in so her lips brushed Carmilla’s ear with her next words. “I’ll get you all fixed up.”

Heat raced over Carmilla’s skin, and it had very little to do with her sunburn.

* * *

 

Flying with Laura was a surreal experience. Carmilla had sort of flown on her own a few times. Sort of. She tried it a lot more when she was younger, but she had given up after what happened with Mother.

Now, when Laura would pick her up in her arms or carry her on her back or lift her by her waist and they would fly, it was such a different experience. Laura was so strong, and she flew so fast, but she was careful. She was constantly checking in with Carmilla, murmuring in her ear over the sound of the wind, and there was something oddly sexual about the whole thing. She could feel Laura moving, feel her flying, feel every minute adjustment of her muscles, every twitch of her fingers. Laura had told her before that there was a staggering amount of math in the way she flew, because she was so strong and so fast that she was capable of causing widespread destruction if she wasn’t careful.

But she made it look so easy. Especially when Carmilla asked her to take her to a set of GPS coordinates and all she had to do was think for a few moments, calculating in her head, before she smiled and told Carmilla to get her jacket.

It was pretty cold up there in the sky. But Laura was so warm, it barely mattered. Especially when they landed and Laura immediately wrapped Carmilla in her arms for a few long moments.

“You okay?” Laura breathed into Carmilla’s ear, hands moving slowly up and down Carmilla’s arms. “Warm enough?”

“Perfect,” Carmilla hummed, burying her nose in Laura’s hair briefly just to get a good smell of her. She smelled just a little different after flying, and the change didn’t last long, so she had to experience it while she could. “Thanks for the ride.”

Laura stepped back and took a look around, slowly realizing where she had taken Carmilla.

A cemetery.

They were at the edge of the suburbs, normally an hour’s drive from the heart of National City. Laura had gotten them there in a few minutes, one of the rare times she flew in her street clothes so she wouldn’t have to change out of her Supergirl suit when they arrived.

Carmilla took Laura’s hand tight in hers and tilted her head toward the lines of headstones.

“Come on, there are some people I want you to meet,” she said quietly, and Laura just nodded silently. She looked a little thrown, a little awestruck. She clearly hadn’t been expecting to come here, to this quiet swathe of hills beside an ivy-covered church, but she was taking it into stride remarkably well.

Carmilla still wasn’t one to share much about her past, even now that they’d been officially dating for almost three months. But this was a part of her life she had avoided for too long, and she wanted Laura beside her when she faced it.

Toward the back of the cemetery, in bright sunlight untouched by shade, were three graves all in a row. Carmilla’s parents, and her little brother, Will. Laura squeezed her hand when they came to a stop, and Carmilla smiled at her.

“I waited for a sunny day,” Carmilla said quietly, glancing up toward the sky, and tears welled in Laura’s eyes. “I figured it was about time my parents met yours.”

Laura just nodded, clearly overcome with emotion, and Carmilla pressed a kiss to her cheek before she knelt in the grass.

“Hey,” she began, unsure. “Sorry I haven’t… been back.” She heard Laura sniffle a bit behind her and couldn’t help but smile. “I just wanted you guys to know I’m okay now. I’ve got this girl that I love, and things are pretty good right now, so…”

She was actually surprised when the lump formed in her throat. Her eyes were stinging and she shook her head quickly. But she didn’t have to say anything else, because Laura sat down in the grass next to her.

“Do you mind if I… say something?” Laura asked hesitantly, and Carmilla just smiled at her.

“Go ahead,” she whispered. Laura nodded, turning back to the headstones.

“You have been the sun of our lives,” she began, her voice shaking. “Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on the journey home.”

Carmilla hadn’t cried at her family’s funeral. All of it seemed so hollow, the prayers to a god Carmilla didn’t believe in anymore, the condolences of strangers. But now, with Laura beside her in the grass on a sunny day, offering the prayers of her own family for three people she had never known, Carmilla started to cry.

“We will remember you in every dawn,” Laura continued, wrapping an arm around Carmilla’s shoulders and holding her tightly to her side. “And await the night we join you in the sky.” Carmilla turned and buried her face in Laura’s neck. “Rao’s will be done.”

They sat together in silence for a while, Carmilla sniffling quietly and Laura rubbing her back. There were birds singing somewhere nearby and Laura hummed.

“We didn’t have birds on Krypton,” she said softly, and Carmilla finally looked over at her. Laura just smiled at her, reaching over to wipe the tears from her cheeks with her thumb. “I like them. The way they fly. And sing. They’re so pretty.”

“I love you,” Carmilla said firmly, and Laura blushed. Carmilla laid a hand on the back of Laura’s neck and pulled her in, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Carm,” Laura murmured, closing her eyes comfortably. She sighed lightly and Carmilla smiled just a bit. “Thank you. For bringing me here.”

“I didn’t want to do this without you,” Carmilla replied with a shrug, and Laura hummed a laugh. “Although you know what this means now that our parents have met?”

“What?”

“We’re going to have to introduce Betty to Mattie.”

“…Oh. Yikes.”

“Yeah. Yikes.


	3. a.k.a. the shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura had never showered at Carmilla’s place before. Carmilla showered at Laura’s apartment all the time, but six months into them actually dating and Laura had never showered at Carmilla’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS DID YOU HEAR THEY'RE MAKING A CARMILLA MOVIE?!?!
> 
> (I know you heard. I am just freaking out is all.)

Laura had never showered at Carmilla’s place before.  Carmilla showered at Laura’s apartment all the time, but six months into them actually dating and Laura had never showered at Carmilla’s apartment.

It wasn’t a big deal, but Laura still wondered about it.  Carmilla had always been a bit weird about her apartment.  Especially since her only friend in the building, J.P., had sobered up and moved to a nicer neighborhood.  (Carmilla had been rather surly and refused to communicate with him for a few days, but Laura bugged her until she started answering his texts again.) Maybe she just didn’t like spending a lot of time there anymore.

Or maybe, Laura realized as she stepped out from under the water and looked around, it was because Carmilla didn’t have any shampoo.

“Carmilla?” Laura called, moving back under the hot water and closing her eyes.  “Where’s your shampoo?”

Laura could hear Carmilla coming down the hall, footsteps light and quiet.

“Sorry, it’s out here.  Be right there.”

There was lowness to her voice that Laura was used to, but only in certain situations.  Certain situations that made her skin tingle and her heart race.  The door of the bathroom opened and closed, keeping the warm air inside, and suddenly Laura felt a breeze as the shower curtain moved.

“Thanks-” she began, holding out her hand for the shampoo.

But she didn’t get the shampoo.

Instead an arm wrapped around her from behind, tugging her back a step and bringing her flush against a very warm, very naked Carmilla.  Before Laura could even gasp, Carmilla was pressing hot, grinning kisses along the side of her neck.

“Found the shampoo,” she purred, and sure enough there was a bottle in her free hand that Laura wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t pointed it out.

“Yeh,” was all Laura managed in response as the hand at her waist started drifting slowly up and down her stomach, fingers tracing the outlines of her abs and making Laura shudder.

She should have been cold, what with Carmilla standing behind her in the path of the hot water.  But Laura was burning up, blushing from her head to her toes and eyelids fluttering.

“You know…” Carmilla murmured, lips brushing Laura’s pulse point with each word.  “Sometimes I wish you weren’t quite so invulnerable.  So I could actually leave marks on your skin.”  Laura almost choked on her inhale.  “Right here, on your pretty pulse, so they’d just peek out from your shirt collar and everybody would know you’re mine.”  Laura let out a shaky breath and Carmilla laughed, light and low.  “Come on, I see the look in your eyes when you leave bites on my neck.  Even if they heal in under an hour, you like looking at them while they’re there.  You like me looking like I’m yours.”

“Holy crap, Carm,” Laura whimpered, leaning back further into her.  “You… I… work…”

“I know, I know,” Carmilla sighed, finally lifting her head from Laura’s neck.  “You have to go to work soon.  I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”  She unwound her arm from Laura’s waist and shook the shampoo bottle in Laura’s peripheral vision.  “I actually came to help wash your hair.  You mind?”

Laura almost collapsed against the shower wall.

“Seriously?” Laura laughed helplessly.  “Your big plan was to send me to work horny?”

“I never claimed to have a plan,” Carmilla scoffed, but there was a grin in her voice as she squeezed shampoo onto her palm and set the bottle aside.  “Now tilt your head back and close your eyes.”  Laura did as she was instructed, letting out a pleased sigh when Carmilla’s fingers started working into her hair.  “Although… would your eyes sting if soap got in them?”

“No,” Laura murmured.  “Didn’t even really know what that meant until the day after I blew out my powers.  Did I ever tell you about that?”

“Yes, darling,” Carmilla hummed a laugh, and Laura felt positively weak in the knees when she scratched her scalp _just so._   “But I get the feeling you are so relaxed right now you don’t even remember what you had for breakfast.”

“Oh shut up.”

Carmilla laughed again and Laura felt like she could sink into the sound, wrap herself in it like a blanket.  Everything was just so warm and Carmilla’s hands were so gentle and the sound of the water was such a nice hush.  She was just so… content.

“Okay, rinse time,” Carmilla said quietly, stepping out of the path of the water and gently tilting Laura’s head back.  Laura sighed again, a blissful smile on her face, and Carmilla laughed beside her.  “How’s your morning going, sweetheart?”

“So much better now,” Laura breathed, opening one eye to look at Carmilla next to her.  But she had to open both eyes when she remembered Carmilla was naked.  “God you’re beautiful.”

There were few things more thrilling to Laura than making Carmilla blush.  She was looking at her feet, skin pink and one hand still in Laura’s hair, and Laura just stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her.  Even in the water, Carmilla’s neck still smelled like her, that delicious pine needle scent of hers that somehow reminded Laura of home.

Or maybe it didn’t _remind_ Laura of home.  Maybe it just _was_ home.

“I love this,” Laura murmured, and it was her turn to smile against Carmilla’s neck.  “I love you.  I want to do this all the time.”

Laura felt the laugh in Carmilla’s chest more than she heard it.

“It is pretty nice.”

“We should.  Do this.  All the time,” Laura went on, dropping soft kisses along Carmilla’s jaw between words.  “We should live together.”

It took Laura about six seconds to realize what she’d said.

Then she was backpedaling, both literally and figuratively, scrambling backwards until her back hit the shower wall.

“I mean, if you want.  Not should.  Like I’m not saying we should, like I’m saying we could, if that was… if you wanted, I mean.  I didn’t mean um…” Laura trailed off and closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.  “Sorry, wait, can we pretend I didn’t um…”

“Laura,” Carmilla interrupted, stepping back into Laura’s space and pinning her to the wall with her hands on her waist.  Laura blinked at her, swallowing hard.  She leaned in, catching her in a smiling kiss, which was unusual.  Laura was most often the one smiling against Carmilla’s lips, not the other way around.  “Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?”

“All the time,” Laura whispered, utterly distracted by Carmilla’s lips on hers.

“Well don’t listen to those people,” Carmilla grinned.  “You’re perfect the way you are.”

“Sap,” Laura grumbled, wrinkling her nose despite her smile.  “You’re avoiding the subject.”

Carmilla reached over to the shower faucet and turned the heat up a bit.  Laura hadn’t even noticed the water was getting colder until the warmth washed over her again.

“Would you like to know why I haven’t let you shower here before?” Carmilla asked suddenly, and Laura just stared at her for a moment before nodding.  “Because I knew that the moment I had you in my shower, I would never want to shower by myself here again.  So I was going to ask you if you wanted to move in together.”

Laura’s mouth fell open.  Carmilla laughed, shaking her head fondly.

“I had a whole speech planned out and everything,” she murmured, leaning in and letting her nose bump into Laura’s.  “And you beat me to the punch.”

“Rather inelegantly,” Laura whined, letting her head thunk back against the wall and covering her eyes with her hand.  “Carm, why do you let me do this?”

“I don’t think I could stop you if I tried,” Carmilla laughed, and she just sounded so happy that Laura’s heart ached a bit.  “I love you.”

“I love _you,_ ” Laura replied emphatically, grabbing Carmilla by the shoulders and pulling her in for a long, hard kiss.  Carmilla sighed into it and Laura pulled away grinning.  Then she turned Carmilla by the shoulders so her back was to Laura’s front, stepping into the path of the water.  “Now tilt your head back and close your eyes so I can wash your hair.”

“You don’t have to, cupcake,” Carmilla said, but she did as she was told regardless.  “If you have to get to work.  Don’t want you to be late.”

“I can fly,” Laura shrugged, pouring shampoo into her hand and rubbing it into Carmilla’s scalp.  She practically purred and Laura grinned.  “I won’t be late.  Right now I like it in here with you.”

“Me too.”

* * *

 

Laura didn’t have time to dry her hair, so it was forcefully dried by her flight to work.  She looked a bit windswept all day and Miss Belmonde kept sending her sidelong looks.

Laf took pictures.  And texted them to Carmilla.  Who they had apparently become friends with without Laura noticing.

But Laura spent a good part of the day texting with Carmilla too.  Deciding whose apartment they were moving into (Laura’s) and when (as soon as possible).

There may have also been some sexting.  Whatever.

* * *

 

Three weeks later, Carmilla and Laura were up bright and early, much to Carmilla’s chagrin, to move Carmilla into Laura’s apartment.  Betty was there to help, as she was the most organized person either Laura or Carmilla had ever met.  And also she kept snapping candid pictures of the two of them “being stupid and adorable,” as she put it.

She got a great picture of Carmilla lifting the couch over her head, and another picture of Laura lifting Carmilla lifting the couch.  She managed to get the exact moment the look of horror crossed Laura’s face upon opening Carmilla’s hall closet and seeing the tidal wave of accumulated junk crashing down on her.  She got a picture of Carmilla dozing with her head in Laura’s lap while Laura sat on the floor, going through Carmilla’s only photo album with tears in her eyes.

And she got a shot of the look of utter shock on Carmilla and Laura’s faces when Matska Belmonde appeared at the door.

“Mattie?” Carmilla blurted, and Laura watched in horror as a slow smirk spread across Betty’s face.

“Matska Belmonde,” Betty said slowly, pocketing her phone and resting her hands on her hips.  “Wow.  I used to be a big fan of ‘It’s Matsy.’”

“Ah, well, thank you,” Mattie replied, smiling politely, but Laura could tell she was a bit uncomfortable with the subject.  She always had been.  Laura just hadn’t known why until Carmilla had told her the whole story.  Mattie closed the apartment door behind her and took a few steps in, extending a hand to Betty.  “You must be Laura’s sister.  Betty, correct?”

Laura was pretty sure her jaw hit the floor.

“Easy there, sunshine,” Carmilla laughed, closing Laura’s mouth for her with a finger under her chin.  Laura couldn’t take her eyes off of Betty and Mattie shaking hands.

“I had no idea she actually listens to the things I say,” Laura whispered.

“Well she must, because I sure didn’t tell her I was moving today,” Carmilla shrugged.

“No, you didn’t,” Mattie cut in reprovingly.  “I really wish you would tell me these things, Monster.”

“Mattie, you hate moving,” Carmilla laughed, shaking her head.  “I didn’t tell you because I thought you wouldn’t want to help.”

“Well then it’s a good thing Laura here can’t stop talking about it, or I wouldn’t have known at all.”

Laura blushed and Carmilla smirked at her, bumping their hips together.

“You can’t stop talking about me moving in with you?” she asked gloatingly.

“I’m just excited,” Laura muttered, embarrassed, but Carmilla just wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Me too, cupcake.”

“Ugh,” Betty groaned, rolling her eyes.  “I’m just glad I finally have someone else to talk to besides these lovesick idiots.”  Laura shot her a pout, but Betty waved her off.  “All day it’s ‘cupcake’ this and ‘sweetheart’ that and ‘darling’ and ‘babe’ and ugh.  Seriously, I’m going to barf.”

“Well I brought lunch,” Mattie said lightly, holding up a fancy takeout bag that Laura recognized from one of the most expensive restaurants in the city.  Figures.  “So if you’d like to vomit I suggest you do it now.”

“Mattie, gross,” Carmilla grumbled, but Betty just grinned.

“I’m liking you more and more every second.”

So Mattie mostly just brought lunch.  And whenever Laura tried to call her ‘Miss Belmonde,’ she got a long speech about how they weren’t at work, they were just future sisters-in-law probably so call her _Mattie_ for goodness sake.  Which Betty found hilarious.

Betty and Mattie got along really well.  It was weird.

It probably helped that Mattie had also brought a bottle of wine with lunch.

* * *

 

The next morning, Laura woke up to the sound of Carmilla singing in the shower.

 _Their_ shower.

She almost tripped several times in her haste to get to the bathroom, shedding her pajamas along the way.  She was singing Feeling Good, and she had a gorgeous voice.  How had Laura never heard Carmilla sing before?

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you’re singing the blues on our first day living together,” Laura sighed as she stepped in behind Carmilla, wrapping her arms around her waist and pressing a line of kisses across her shoulder.

“It is a blues song, but it’s not about the blues,” Carmilla hummed, and Laura could hear the smile in her voice.  “It’s about a new day.  And I’m feeling good.”

“Such a sap,” Laura sighed, turning her nose to Carmilla’s neck, and she laughed.

“I was wondering what was taking you so long.”

“Had to let you get your pipes warmed up,” Laura murmured, teeth grazing Carmilla’s skin just enough to make her shiver.  “You’ll be using them in a minute here.”

“Wow,” Carmilla laughed, and Laura was thrilled by the tremor in her voice.  “I like this confident Laura.  Where does she live?”

“Here,” Laura hummed into the space below her jaw.  “With you.”

“I think I like the sound of that.”


	4. a.k.a. the broken bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing Carmilla was aware of when she woke up was pain. Just an overall, full body ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo the last chapter was sappy so this one is a bit um... I won't say angsty, but it's definitely approaching the angst territory. I think I'm crap at writing angst so hey, let me know how this turned out.

The first thing Carmilla was aware of when she woke up was pain.  Just an overall, full body ache.

Then it started to get more specific.

Head.  Ow.  Right shoulder.  Ow.  Left arm.  Ow.  Ribs.  Ow.  Left knee.  Ow.  Right ankle.  Ow.

It felt like a lot of stuff was broken.  Healing, but broken.  And even though she could feel the effects of painkillers in her system, it still hurt pretty bad.  So before she even opened her eyes to figure out where the hell she was and what the hell was going on, a single word made it out of her mouth, her voice raspy and thin.

“Ouch.”

Carmilla heard a sharp inhale on her right.

“Carm.”

Laura practically sobbed her name, and Carmilla finally forced her eyes open to see her hovering over her like an angel.  The moment their eyes connected, relief washed over Laura’s face, and as the world came into further focus Carmilla started noticing things besides the pain.

Things like the fact that Laura was still in her work clothes.  Namely, she was Supergirl.  And Carmilla was laying on some kind of hospital bed.  And Laura was leaning over her to peer into her eyes, but was very carefully not touching her.  She could feel her hands near her, hovering on either side of her face, but she wouldn’t touch her.  And that was a cause for concern.

“Carm, oh thank Rao, Carm,” Laura whispered, her eyes bouncing between Carmilla’s restlessly.  Carmilla just stared at her.  Her eyes were red.  She’d been crying.

“What happened?” Carmilla managed to say, and she tried to sit up.  But the pain in her ribs and arms flared and she grunted, and Laura looked about ready to faint.

“Don’t, don’t move, stay still, please,” Laura gasped, and Carmilla watched her flap her hands uselessly in the air to stop herself from touching her.  “You’re hurt, Carm.  You shouldn’t…”  Laura’s eyes filled with tears and Carmilla frowned.  “I’ll… I’ll go get Betty, she can…”

Laura tried to back away, but Carmilla grabbed her hand.  It sent pain lancing through her entire right side and Laura went still, eyes wide.  Carmilla squeezed her hand and Laura nearly sobbed again.

“Tell me what happened,” Carmilla said firmly.  “Stay with me.  Please.”

Laura just nodded, eyes never leaving Carmilla’s as she sank into the chair beside Carmilla’s bed.  She tried to tug her hand out of Carmilla’s grip, but Carmilla just held her tighter.

“You’re at the DEO,” Laura began slowly.  Carmilla glanced around the room for the first time.  Okay.  That explained why it didn’t look like a hospital room.  Laura started bouncing her leg restlessly. “You’ve been unconscious for fifteen hours.”  Carmilla’s eyes widened and Laura looked away.  “We were… they came to our apartment.  We were just… we were having dinner and we were laughing and you looked so beautiful and…”

Laura trailed off, tears running down her cheeks when she closed her eyes.  Her breath hitched and Carmilla tried to sit up again.  She managed not to grunt with the effort this time and reached for Laura’s face to wipe her tears.

“Laura,” Carmilla murmured, and Laura grabbed her hand and held it to the side of her face, threading their fingers together.

“Supergirl,” Betty said as she walked in, causing Laura to jump.  “Not Laura.  Not here.  Here, she’s Supergirl.”

“Okay,” Carmilla said simply, and Betty smiled at her as she came around to her bedside.  She placed a hand on Laura’s shoulder and some of the tension seemed to leave her.

“Good to see you awake,” Betty said quietly.  “Supergirl hasn’t left your side.”

“She also hasn’t told me what happened,” Carmilla said archly, smiling fondly at her girlfriend.  But Laura just looked away again.  Carmilla frowned.

“Hey,” Betty said softly, and Laura looked up at her.  “I’ll fill her in.  Why don’t you go tell Mel she’s awake?”

“Yeah,” Laura said distantly, looking at the floor.  “That’s… I’ll do that.”

She stood up and Carmilla tensed, pain flaring through her shoulder as she squeezed Laura’s hand.

“Laura,” she heard herself say plaintively, and Laura stopped.  Slowly, she finally looked at Carmilla, and she looked so guilty and distraught that Carmilla didn’t quite know what to do.

“I’ll be right back,” Laura said quietly.  Her eyes darted away and Carmilla let go of her hand.  Laura just swallowed hard and left the room quickly.

“Is she okay?” Carmilla blurted immediately, sitting up fully despite the pain and the dizziness and the _pain_.  “What’s going on?  Is she hurt?”

“Easy there, Karnstein,” Betty sighed, sitting down in Laura’s vacated chair and handing Carmilla a plastic cup from the little table by the bed.  Carmilla hadn’t realized how thirsty she was until she was gulping the water down.  “She’s okay.  You’re the one that got your ass handed to you.”

“What the hell happened?” Carmilla croaked, wiping her mouth roughly with the back of her hand.   Betty stared at her for a few long moments and sighed again, running a hand distractedly through her hair.

“We’ve talked about Non before, right?” she began seriously.  “Supergirl’s uncle?  He’s the guy in charge of all the Kryptonians here that are trying to take over the world?”  Carmilla nodded slowly.  She didn’t know all the details, but she knew he was Laura’s aunt’s husband and he had been in Fort Rozz with the rest of the criminals until it crashed on Earth.  “Well, apparently, three of his lackeys went rogue last night and attacked you at home.”

Carmilla jumped at the sound of the plastic cup crunching in her hand.  Last night.  At home.  Carmilla had made dinner.  Laura had been heavily flirting with her from the moment she walked in the door after work.  They were going to go up on the roof to stargaze.  And then…

“They decided they could just take out Supergirl themselves, forget all of Non’s scheming,” Betty went on, and Carmilla looked back up at her to find her scowling at her hands in her lap.  “From what she told me, they weren’t expecting you to be there.  So two of them went after her.  The third went after you.  And you…”  Betty paused, shaking her head, and when she looked back up at Carmilla there was a wry smile on her face.  “You knocked him out, Carmilla.  You took out a Kryptonian.  With your bare hands.  That shouldn’t even be possible.”

Carmilla looked down at the bare hands in question.  Ah, that explained the bruises on her knuckles.  And the rest of her fingers.  And the backs of her hands.  She winced a bit at the sight of them.  No wonder it hurt to hold Laura’s hand.

“So one of the two she was fighting knocked you out,” Betty continued.  “But not before you tried your damnedest to mess him up just as bad as the first guy.  And then she…”  Betty trailed off and Carmilla looked up at her again.  She had a pensive frown on her face as she restlessly cracked her knuckles.  “She must have gone a little crazy, seeing you get hurt.  We clocked her flying faster than we’ve ever seen when she brought you here, and then she brought back all three Kryptonians.  Unconscious.  And they all look a little worse for the wear.”

They shared a long look and Carmilla swallowed hard.

“She’s okay, I promise,” Betty said softly, placing a careful hand on Carmilla’s knee.  “I checked her out myself.”

Carmilla nodded absently, staring at Betty’s hand.

“But she’s rattled, as you’ve already seen,” Betty sighed and withdrew her hand.  “She lost control a bit, when you got hurt.  It scared her.  And she feels responsible for you getting hurt in the first place.  So she’s… kind of a mess right now.”

“She shouldn’t… it wasn’t her fault,” Carmilla protested, and Betty just rolled her eyes.

“What do you think I’ve spent the last fifteen hours telling her?” she asked with a smirk.  Carmilla managed to crack a small smile at that.  “You just need to talk to her.  Get some alone time with her.  She’ll settle down when she sees you’re okay.”  Then Betty frowned at her.  “You are okay, right?”

“I mean I’m in a lot of pain, thanks for asking,” Carmilla grumbled, and Betty let out a tired laugh as she got to her feet.

“I’ll get you some more drugs.  And more water.”

“Wait,” Carmilla said, stopping Betty near the door.  “Who’s Mel?”

“It’s Director Callis, if you don’t mind.”

Carmilla blinked at the doorway, immediately spotting Laura skulking behind the woman currently striding toward her bed.  But the woman had a kind of commanding presence that demanded Carmilla’s attention.  She stopped beside Carmilla’s bed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’d offer to shake your hand, but I don’t think you should be using them much right now,” she said crisply, and Carmilla shrugged.  “It’s nice to finally meet the woman who managed to take out Metallo and a rogue Kryptonian.”

There was something to her tone that made Carmilla think it wasn’t exactly as nice to meet her as she said, but there was also an air of respect to her words that seemed genuine, so she didn’t comment on it.

“So you’re… in charge of the DEO?” Carmilla guessed, eyebrows raised.  Laura still hadn’t told her a ton about the operation here, just enough to get by.  Betty appeared and handed Carmilla two pills and another cup of water, which Carmilla quickly downed.

“Yes, I’m the director of operations,” Mel replied as she sat down in the chair beside the bed.  She glanced over at Betty, then back at Laura, who was still hovering behind her.  “Supergirl, Agent Hollis, would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with our guest?”

Betty gave Carmilla a grin that didn’t inspire a lot of confidence before she backed out of the room.  Laura hesitated, wringing her hands.  Carmilla just put on her best encouraging smile and nodded at her.  With a final glance between her boss and her girlfriend, Laura followed her sister out the door.

“I’ll cut right to the chase,” Mel said immediately, and Carmilla felt herself shrinking back against her pillows.  She was strangely intimidating.  “I don’t much like the idea of having an unregistered enhanced individual running around my city and intervening in my ops.”  Carmilla opened her mouth to argue, but Mel just held up a hand.  “However, Supergirl has assured me that you’re only likely to intervene when she is in immediate danger, and as she is my strongest asset, I can appreciate that.”

There was a moment of silence before Mel leaned in a bit, resting her elbows on her knees and looking Carmilla hard in the eyes.

“But on a personal level, I owe my life to those girls’ mother, and I promised her I would watch out for them,” Mel continued, and her voice had dropped to a tone that was perfectly calm, and yet somehow even more menacing than before.  “So I should warn you that if you break her heart, I’ll break your face.”

Carmilla just stared at her, wide eyed, until she sat back up and was suddenly all business again.

“Well, now that’s out of the way, we’ll be keeping you here until all your broken bones heal.  Your healing abilities are fairly impressive, so it shouldn’t take more than a couple of days.  Agent Hollis and Supergirl will be looking after you, as I’m sure you guessed.”

She got to her feet and headed back toward the door, and Carmilla watched her carefully.  There was something about her.  Something not quite normal.  But after a speech like that, Carmilla wasn’t about to say anything.

“It was nice meeting you,” Mel said from the doorway.

“Likewise,” Carmilla replied.

And then she was gone as suddenly as she’d come, and Laura rushed to Carmilla’s side in her place.  She went right back to her weird hovering, reaching out for Carmilla’s face but stopping herself just short of touching her.

“Are you okay?” Laura asked in strained voice.  “I’m sorry, I should have warned you, she can be kind of…”

“Protective,” Carmilla supplied with a small smile.  She fixed Laura with a look.  “You can touch me, you know.  I won’t break.”

Laura flinched.  Hard.

“But you did,” she whispered, and suddenly her eyes were full of tears and Carmilla was helpless to stop it.  “You did break.  God, Carm, you had twelve broken bones and you were bleeding internally.  When I brought you here I thought you were going to die.”

“Laura,” Carmilla began gently, but Laura just closed her eyes and shook her head, hands firmly in her lap.

“I’m so sorry,” she gasped, wiping her eyes roughly with the heel of her hand.  “I’m so sorry, Carm.  When we… when we first… you said you didn’t want _me_ to get hurt, but I should have… I didn’t even realize how much danger I was putting you in.”

“This isn’t your fault,” Carmilla said, but Laura was shaking with repressed sobs and Carmilla wasn’t even sure if she’d heard her.  “Laura, listen to me.  Look at me.”  Carmilla reached out and grabbed Laura’s wrist, clenching her jaw against the sharp, stinging pain that travelled all the way up her arm.  Laura jumped, finally opening her eyes.  “Sweetheart, please.”

“You shouldn’t-” Laura began, eyes darting between Carmilla’s hand and her face.

“I don’t care,” Carmilla cut her off, and to prove her point she gave Laura’s wrist a squeeze.  Laura swallowed hard.  “None of this is your fault.”  She started shaking her head again, but Carmilla just frowned at her.  “Dammit, Laura, just listen to me.  I knew what I was getting into when I fell in love with you, okay?  I know.  And I chose to be with you because I can take it.  I chose to knock out that asshole Kryptonian and I chose to try to knock out that second one, and there wasn’t a damn thing you could have done to stop me because they were in our home and I wasn’t going to let them hurt you.”

“But they didn’t hurt me,” Laura blurted, but her other hand was settling gently on top of Carmilla’s, her touch so soft and careful it didn’t even hurt.  “They almost killed you.”

“I was reckless,” Carmilla sighed, and Laura clearly hadn’t expected her to say that because her mouth opened but no words came out.  Carmilla smiled ruefully and shook her head.  “I can admit that.  I was pissed off and I went a little crazy.  I should have been more careful.”  Laura just stared at her, confused, and Carmilla shrugged.  “So I’ll… I’ll be more careful next time.  I’ll think things through more when I’m in a fight against someone stronger than me.  I promise.  Just…”  Carmilla stopped, surprised by the fear swelling in her stomach and the tears stinging at the back of her eyes.  “Just please don’t leave me.”

“What?” Laura said blankly, and she looked more terrified by the second as tears welled in Carmilla’s eyes.  “Leave you?”

“It seemed like you were gearing up to the heroic lone wolf speech,” Carmilla sniffed, and holy shit the painkillers must have been hitting her because she started _crying_.  “Telling me about how it would be safer for me to not be with you so your enemies can’t hurt me or whatever.”  She reached up with her left hand to try to wipe her tears away, but they were streaming down her face and she kept sniffling and hiccupping and god this was just embarrassing.  “But that’s stupid and you shouldn’t do that and I just really love you…”

“Carm, stop,” Laura laughed helplessly, and she finally put her hands on Carmilla’s face.  She was so gentle and careful as she leaned in and wiped at her tears with her thumbs, and Carmilla was kind of unravelling, so she reached up and grabbed Laura’s elbows and held on like she was an anchor in a storm.  “I would never.  I love you so much, _ndivi_ , I would never leave you over something as silly as that.” 

Carmilla looked up to meet Laura’s eyes, the tears finally stopping.  Laura gave her a watery smile and Carmilla laughed, embarrassed.

“What does that mean?” she asked quietly, voice rough from crying.

“What does what mean?” Laura replied, confused.

“You just called me something in Kryptonian,” Carmilla said, tilting her head as she tried to remember how the word sounded.  “Ndivi?  What does it mean?”

Carmilla had never seen Laura blush so hard so fast.

“Oh, I um… I didn’t even realize I said it,” she laughed awkwardly.  Carmilla reached up and took Laura’s hands in hers, sliding them down from her face to her heart.  “It’s a um… well there’s no direct translation, but it’s like a… a term of endearment.”  A slow grin spread across Carmilla’s face and Laura glanced away, smiling bashfully.  “I suppose the closest thing in English would be like… ‘light of my life.’”

“Awww,” Carmilla cooed, and Laura just scoffed.  “You must really like me.”

“Well your painkillers are clearly kicking in, so maybe we should continue this conversation when you’re less high,” Laura laughed, rolling her eyes fondly.  “Is there anything I can get you?  Anything you need?”

“I need you to stay,” Carmilla sighed, scooting to the side of the bed and patting the empty space she’d just made.  “Cuddle with me.”

“Carm, I shouldn’t…” Laura began warily, but Carmilla just pouted at her until she gave in.

She moved slow, all careful movements and tentative touches, until she finally settled at Carmilla’s side with a few solid inches of space between them.  Carmilla immediately grabbed her hand and dragged her arm over her waist, tucking herself under the light embrace with a contented sigh.

“Hey,” Carmilla whispered, drawing Laura’s eyes to hers.  “You’re my _ndivi_ too, you know.”  For a moment, it looked like Laura was going to cry.  But instead a smile spread across her face that warmed Carmilla from the inside out.  “Thanks for not leaving me.”

“Go to sleep, Carm,” Laura murmured, leaning in and dropping a gentle kiss on Carmilla’s forehead.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

It took just over two days for Carmilla’s broken bones to heal enough for her to leave the DEO.  Betty kept an eye on her and Laura doted on her the whole time.

After that, when they were alone and Laura was feeling especially in love, she called Carmilla _ndivi._

Carmilla loved it more than she would ever say.

 


	5. a.k.a. the treehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not like we’re going into battle here, Carm. It’s just my-” The door swung open and Laura lit up, dropping Carmilla’s hand and jumping forward to hug the man in the doorway. “Dad!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this took a while. It's been a weird few months. Not to be too political or anything but YIKES, you know what I mean? Anyway.
> 
> This chapter got away from me. It's long-ish. And for some reason it was a real bear to write, so I dunno if it's even any good at this point. It's real sentimental and gross though, so there's that!

Laura was warmer than a human.

It was only a few degrees’ difference, her average temperature hovering around 100 degrees rather than 98, but it was noticeable to Carmilla.  Poor, cold Carmilla.  Laura teased her about it sometimes, telling her that if she exercised a bit more her circulation might improve and she wouldn’t constantly be complaining of frozen hands and feet.

Any mention of exercise to Carmilla just ended up leading to sex, but it wasn’t like Laura was complaining.

So Laura’s cells absorbed sunlight efficiently enough that she was just warmer than most people, which, besides the added benefit of discovering that Carmilla was a relentless cuddler, came in handy when she was flying.

It was cold at high altitudes.  And flying from National City to Midvale in an hour required a fairly high altitude and pretty high speed.

So when Laura landed with Carmilla in her arms, the first thing she did was pull her into a tight embrace.  Carmilla shivered a bit in Laura’s hold and she rubbed her hands briskly up and down Carmilla’s back.

“You okay?” Laura murmured into Carmilla’s ear.  Carmilla didn’t respond.  Laura frowned.  “Carm?”

After a few more moments of silence Laura stepped back, slowly rubbing Carmilla’s arms.  But Carmilla wasn’t looking at her.  She was staring over Laura’s shoulder at the house they had landed in front of.

The house Laura had called home for her first five years on this planet.

“Carm?” Laura asked, nudging Carmilla with her elbow, and she finally blinked and focused on Laura.

“Sorry,” Carmilla muttered, smiling rather bashfully and shaking her head.  “I’m um… just kind of nervous, I guess.”

Laura laughed, leaning in and rubbing her nose against Carmilla’s cold one.

“You don’t have to be nervous, I promise he’ll love you,” she said quietly.  Carmilla wrinkled her nose skeptically and Laura just laughed again.  “You’re so cute when you do that.”

“I’m not cute,” Carmilla pouted.

“Yes you are,” Laura shrugged, grinning and stepping backwards toward the front door.  She held tight to Carmilla’s hands, pulling her along.  “You’re like… the cutest girl I’ve ever met.  On Earth or Krypton.”

“Well when you put it that way,” Carmilla rolled her eyes, but she was blushing and Laura loved it.  “Okay.  Let’s do this.”

Laura shook her head and knocked on the door, lacing her fingers through Carmilla’s.

“It’s not like we’re going into battle here, Carm.  It’s just my-” The door swung open and Laura lit up, dropping Carmilla’s hand and jumping forward to hug the man in the doorway.  “Dad!”

“Hey pumpkin!” Sherman exclaimed, voice muffled in Laura’s hair.  She hadn’t been home in several months and she forgot sometimes how much she missed her dad’s hugs.  But she pulled away quicker than she usually would when she remembered Carmilla hovering nervously behind her.  “How was the flight?”

As always, he laughed at his own joke and Laura just rolled her eyes, reaching back and grabbing Carmilla’s hand again to tug her into the house.

“It was fine, thanks,” Laura sighed, sharing a glance with Carmilla.  She still looked nervous, but there was a hint of amusement there now too, and Laura grinned.  “Carmilla, this is my dad, Sherman.  Dad, this is-”

“Carmilla,” Sherman finished for her, turning his focus to Carmilla for the first time.  Carmilla swallowed hard and stuck her hand out to shake.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” she said quickly.

And Laura should have warned her.  She knew it was going to happen, but she didn’t say a word.  Because she secretly wanted to see the surprise in Carmilla’s face when it happened.  And it was exactly as adorable as she thought it would be when Sherman just looked at Carmilla’s extended hand for a moment before stepping forward and pulling her into a hug.

“Oh,” Carmilla said simply, eyes wide over Sherman’s shoulder as she looked to Laura in confusion.  But Laura just shook her head at her, holding in her laughter with a hand over her mouth.

Sherman pulled back after several long moments, holding Carmilla at arms’ length with his hands on her shoulders.

“I am so glad to finally meet you,” he said seriously, and Carmilla shot another bewildered look at Laura over his shoulder.  “Laura has been talking about you for almost a year now and I’ve just been waiting this whole time to be able to thank you in person.”

“Thank me?”

Carmilla was immediately pulled into another hug.

“You saved Laura’s life,” Sherman said, turning and smiling at his adopted daughter briefly.  “More than once.  And I can’t ever repay you for that.”  Carmilla looked completely caught off guard as Sherman patted her shoulders a few times.  “Here, here, come in, let me take your coats.”

“It’s really… it’s not a big deal,” Carmilla stammered as Sherman closed the door and hung up their coats.  “I mean… I just did what anyone else would have, I just…”

“Carm,” Laura whispered, drawing her attention away from the fact that Sherman just kept waving her off.  Carmilla blinked at her owlishly and Laura just smiled and held out her hands for her.  “Just accept the thanks.  You’re not going to hear the end of it.”

“She’s right,” Sherman said, making Carmilla jump just a bit right as she took Laura’s hands.  “Come on, come in, dinner is almost ready.”

And he was off down the hall and into the kitchen just like that, leaving Carmilla standing stunned in the entry with her hands tight in Laura’s.  She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, and Laura couldn’t hold back her laughter anymore.

“So you told him about the whole life-saving thing,” Carmilla muttered, rolling her eyes.  But it was too late to save face.  She was already blushing and Laura was loving every minute of it.

“Of course I did,” Laura scoffed as she lead Carmilla further into the house.  “I brag about you like all the time.”

They paused briefly in the hallway for Carmilla to gawk at some family photos, snickering at gangly teenage Betty and grumpy preteen Laura.

When they eventually made it to the kitchen, Sherman immediately started in on how skinny Laura looked and went on a brief tirade about how city people ate like rabbits and both girls just needed more meat and potatoes in their diets.  By the time he was forcing second helpings of lasagna on them, Carmilla had finally loosened up.

It helped that Sherman was providing plenty of anecdotes about a certain alien girl going through her awkward teenage years.  Laura pretended to be offended by the whole thing, but she loved every second of it.  Because Carmilla was laughing.  Carmilla was smiling and joking with Laura’s dad like they were old friends, and it made Laura’s heart feel heavy and warm in a way she hadn’t felt in so long she wondered if she’d ever felt it at all.

Home just felt more like home with Carmilla here.

It was only when Laura was doing the dishes, which required her to literally lift her foster father up by his arms and deposit him in the living room, then do the same to Carmilla, that the conversation turned back toward the whole ‘life-saving thing’ again.

Laura tried not to listen.  She really did.  But her ears were tuned to Carmilla’s voice, and when she let her mind wander, it wandered back to her.

“I know you don’t want me making a big deal out of this,” Sherman said, and Carmilla hummed her agreement.  “But I’m what you might call… over-protective.  I’ve always had the safety of my girls in the front of my mind.  So you can imagine how excited I was when my daughters decided to be a commando and a superhero.”

Carmilla laughed and Laura smiled to herself, quietly setting dishes in the drying rack beside the sink.

“I’ve always considered myself pretty lucky to have one daughter that’s bulletproof,” Sherman continued frankly.  “But once she put the cape on, all my peace of mind went out the window.  She’s out there fighting stuff that can hurt her, and there really wasn’t anyone else around that could fight that stuff until you came along.”

Laura paused in the act of scrubbing the lasagna dish.  She had known her dad wouldn’t be jazzed about the idea of her fighting crime back when she first became Supergirl, but they’d never really sat down and talked about it.  He had only ever expressed how proud he was of her.

“Look, Mr. Hollis-”

“Sherman.”

“Okay, Sherman,” Carmilla corrected with a smile in her voice.  “Laura can handle a lot by herself.  Most of the time she doesn’t need any backup.  But… on the rare occasion that she does, I’ll be there.”  Laura felt her breath catch a bit in her chest when she heard Carmilla’s voice dip to something almost reverent.  “I can’t… I really can’t imagine my life without her.  So I’m um… I’m going to try to keep her around, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Sherman laughed quietly after a few moments.  There was a comfortable quiet in the living room for a few minutes after that, giving Laura time to use her heat vision on the dish water that she had let get cold in the sink.  She almost burned a hole in the counter when her dad spoke again.  “So why aren’t you a superhero?”

Of course he would ask like that, completely out of the blue and totally blunt.  Laura was mostly used to it, but she hadn’t warned Carmilla.  She could hear the surprise in Carmilla’s voice when she responded.

“Oh, um… well I considered it, back when I first got my um… powers,” Carmilla muttered.  Laura blinked a few times.  Carmilla had never told her that.  Then again, she’d never asked.  “But then… some things happened.  Bad things.  That made me not really want to use my strength anymore.”  Sherman hummed thoughtfully, and Laura could almost hear him nodding.  But then Carmilla cleared her throat and went on quietly.  “We’ve never really talked about it, but um… but she’s… made me start thinking again, I guess.  She makes me want to be better.”

“She does that,” Sherman replied just as quietly.

Laura was totally unprepared for any of that.  She just stood there staring at the dirty dishwater for a few long moments.  She had never brought up the idea of Carmilla fighting crime with her because she knew about her past.  She knew about the demons she struggled with.  And she was scared to death that even bringing up the subject in passing would seem like she was trying to push Carmilla into doing something she didn’t want to.

The conversation switched to more mundane matters after that, Carmilla’s job as a private investigator and Sherman’s work studying alien biology.  Laura managed to finish the dishes without breaking anything, then joined them in the living room.

It was so different, having Carmilla in Midvale.  Having this girl she had only ever known in National City fitting so seamlessly into her life back home.  She wondered, briefly, if Carmilla would have fit so perfectly back on Krypton, but that train of thought pulled at her heart in a way that hurt too much.

The hours passed in pleasant conversation, Carmilla making Sherman laugh so hard at one point he almost cried, and suddenly it was midnight and Laura was falling asleep against Carmilla’s shoulder.  She couldn’t help it.  Flying to Midvale was tiring.  And she was just so comfortable.

So they all said goodnight, and Carmilla teased Laura all through their end-of-day routine.  She tickled her while they changed into their pajamas, she kept bumping their hips together while they brushed their teeth, she blew raspberries against her neck while they tumbled into Laura’s twin size bed in her childhood bedroom.

And it was just so… perfect.

Laura never could have expected her dad and Carmilla to get along so well.  She had hoped they would, but Carmilla was surly on a good day, so this was kind of a miracle.  She was so polite and respectful and… and…

“Carmilla Karnstein, you are _not_ trying to stick your hand down my underwear when my dad is literally across the hall.”

Carmilla laughed against the back of Laura’s neck, pulling her hands back when Laura swatted at them.

“Oh come on,” she whispered, and Laura gulped at the teasing purr in her voice.  “We’re all adults.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want him to wake up to the sound of you debauching his daughter in her bed with unicorn sheets,” Laura grumbled, slapping at another wandering hand.

Carmilla snorted at that.

“Well he won’t wake up if you’re really quiet.”

“It’s not a matter of me being quiet,” Laura sniffed, and she finally had to turn around to face Carmilla and grab her by her wrists.  Carmilla was just grinning at her and Laura rolled her eyes.  “This bedframe is ancient and it squeaks.  And also we have a tendency to break things, no matter how hard we try to be quiet.”  Carmilla stuck her lower lip out in a pout and Laura just narrowed her eyes at her.  “So the answer is no.”

“But Laura…” Carmilla whined, shooting Laura what she clearly intended to be puppy dog eyes but just ended up being seduction eyes.

“No,” Laura repeated firmly.  And with that she turned around and settled back down against her pillow.  Carmilla let out a long sigh, then laid a hand on Laura’s hip.  Laura waited, but it didn’t move.

“Okay, fine,” Carmilla murmured, words soft against the back of Laura’s head.  She drummed her fingers once, lightly.  “I’m sorry.”

Laura stiffened, confused.  She turned her head to look at Carmilla.

“Sorry?  Why?”

Carmilla shrugged, glancing down at her own hand on Laura’s hip and giving it a soft squeeze.

“I tried to push you,” she whispered, embarrassed.  “The first ‘no’ should have been enough.”

Laura stared.  She couldn’t help it.  She just laid there and stared at her grumpy, broody, hard-drinking, loud-swearing, bar-fighting girlfriend who was secretly just a cuddly little kitten that was concerned about consent even though they’d been together for nearly a year now.

Laura loved this girl so much sometimes it took her breath away.

So she jumped out of bed and strode to the window, only slowing down to keep the hinges quiet when she pushed it open.

“We’re going to go get some privacy,” she whispered, already throwing one leg over the windowsill before Carmilla had even processed what was happening.  “Grab the duvet and a pillow, please.”

“Which pillow?”

“The yellow one.”

* * *

 

The Hollis household was at the edge of Midvale.  The large backyard was bordered by a forest, and one of the trees on the very edge was perfect for a treehouse.  So when Laura was new to Earth and having trouble adjusting, Sherman decided she needed a place to be alone and helped her build said treehouse.

It was a pretty average little fort, with the notable exception that there was no ladder and no door.  The only way in was to fly through the skylight in the roof.

Which was just what Laura did with Carmilla riding on her back, duvet and pillow heaped in her arms.

“Here we are,” Laura sighed as she closed the skylight behind them.  Carmilla was holding the yellow pillow to her chest, looking around the single room in amusement.  There was a little table and chair in the corner, the table covered in pencil drawings and watercolors that had acquired a thin layer of dust since Laura’s last visit.  There were a few camp lanterns hanging from the ceiling, which Laura lit to bring a soft yellow glow into the space.  There was a star chart spread across one wall covered in Laura’s notes from when she was thirteen, trying to learn about her new galactic neighborhood.

But mostly the place was full of books.  There was a whole wall of bookshelves, which was full, and they were in piles all around the little room.  The books were all about Earth.  History, culture, language, geography, everything Laura could get her hands on.  There was just enough space for a pair of adults to lie on the floor in the center of the floor once Laura adjusted a couple of piles.

While Laura spread the duvet on the floor, Carmilla picked up a few of the papers from the table and started leafing through them.

“These are beautiful,” she said quietly, holding one up for Laura to see.  “What are they?”

“Krypton,” Laura replied simply, moving up beside Carmilla and wrapping an arm around her waist as she picked up another picture.  The watercolor painting was mostly a vibrant orange sky with a shimmering skyline at the bottom.  “I didn’t want to forget what it looked like.”

Carmilla bent down suddenly, looking under the table to find a jumble of paint cans.

“Oh yeah, I was going to paint the walls and ceiling to look like home,” Laura laughed lightly, placing the drawings gently back on the table.  “Never got around to it.  I didn’t spend a lot of time in here once I got to high school.”  She grabbed Carmilla’s hands and dragged her back to the center of the treehouse.  “Now come on, you can’t take me to bed in here, but maybe you can um… duvet me?”

Carmilla stared at her for a beat before she burst out laughing, stepping forward and folding Laura into her arms.  They spun together, giggling, until they tipped over and fell into the plushy pile of the duvet.

“You’re such a dork,” Carmilla laughed, and there were a few moments of flailing confusion before she had Laura pinned.  She sat up, straddling Laura’s hips, and grinned down at her.  “But you’re _my_ dork.  So I’ll duvet you.”

Laura reached up and grabbed Carmilla’s shoulders to pull her down, whispering her next words right against her lips.

“We should still probably try to be quiet, though.”

* * *

 

Laura didn’t wake up until almost noon the next day.  They’d snuck quietly back into Laura’s room around three in the morning, then promptly cuddled up and fallen asleep.  But when Laura woke, she was alone in her bed.

“Carm?” she yawned, sitting up and stretching languidly.  She grabbed her glasses from the bedside table and slid them on instinctually, movements as automatic to her as breathing.  It was just as automatic for her to broaden the range of her hearing, listening for Carmilla, Carmilla’s voice, Carmilla’s breathing, Carmilla’s steps, in the house.  She could hear her dad downstairs, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee at the kitchen table.  She could hear the family cat, Streaky, slinking around in the crawlspace beneath the garden shed.  But Carmilla wasn’t in the house.

Laura frowned and ran a hand through her hair.  She winced when she hit a snag.  Sex hair.  She’d have to fix that before she went downstairs and saw her dad.

But then her ears picked up something familiar.  Carmilla’s humming, somewhere just outside the range she was listening in on.  She turned to the window and lifted her glasses away from her eyes, zeroing in on the treehouse.

There she was.  Laura smiled a bit, confused.  Why had she gone back?

Since it was now broad daylight, Laura walked across the field to the treehouse after running a brush through her hair and throwing on some clothes.  She still had to fly to get in, but she had mastered the art of sneaking around Midvale when she was a teenager, so she wasn’t concerned.

“Hey, morning,” Laura said quietly as she dropped into the treehouse.  “What uh…”

She trailed off, words forgotten.  Her eyes went wide as she stood in the center of the small room.

The bare wooden walls were no longer bare.  With the exception of the wall of bookcases, the inside of her old treehouse was one huge mural of the Kryptonian sky.  Even the ceiling was painted a soft orange, dotted with wispy pinkish clouds.  Along the bottom of one wall, right beside the floor, was the shining city skyline from Laura’s watercolor.  And there, standing from her crouching position beside that skyline, was Carmilla, in paint-smeared jeans and a tank top, watching nervously for her reaction.

“You said last night that you wanted to remember what home looked like,” Carmilla said quietly, looking around at her work.

Laura just turned slowly, taking it all in.  She closed her eyes for a moment, bringing up her memories of the real sky, the real Krypton, and then opened her eyes.  It wasn’t exact, but it was perfect.

“Do you like it?” Carmilla asked after Laura was silent just a bit too long.

Laura just laughed incredulously and threw herself into Carmilla’s arms.

“I love you so much,” she breathed against Carmilla’s neck, and she could feel her relaxing in her grasp, feel the relief seeping into her posture when she wrapped her arms around Laura’s waist and held her close.  “It’s so beautiful, Carm.  Thank you.”

“Oh, good, I’m glad you like it,” Carmilla sighed, pressing a kiss to Laura’s hair.

“Of course I like it,” Laura laughed, stepping back to look at her girlfriend but keeping a firm hold on her arms.  “I love it.  Carm, you just…”  She shook her head a bit, laughing to herself and looking down.  “You constantly surprise me.”

“Well that was kind of the idea,” Carmilla replied, rolling her eyes through her grin.

“I know that, but I mean you’re always so…” Laura struggled for a moment, biting her lip.  “You’re so different with me.  Like… even since we started dating, you’re just… I guess I never expected you to be so sweet.”  Carmilla arched an eyebrow in confusion and Laura let out a flustered sigh.  “I basically had to twist your arm to get you to admit that you love me, remember?  And ever since then, it’s like all you do is find as many ways as you can to show me how much you do love me.”

“Ah,” Carmilla sighed, nodding.  She ran a hand through Laura’s hair briefly, tucking errant strands behind her ear so she could better see her face.  “Well.  I had some pretty shitty stuff happen to me when I was younger, just like you.  But I’ve been using it as an excuse to be hopeless and pessimistic ever since.  You, on the other hand…”  She smiled and settled her arms around Laura’s waist to pull her in closer.  “All you’ve ever wanted to do is help people.  And I guess… it’s made me want to help people too.  Starting with you.  Because you deserve everything.”

Laura just stared at her, shocked.  This was a whole new world for them.  She’d never talked about wanting to help people like Laura did, at least not until the conversation with Sherman that Laura had eavesdropped on last night.  Laura wanted to say something.  Anything.  But she just stood there with her mouth open until Carmilla laughed and wrapped her arms around her tighter.

“Now warm me up, please.  It’s cold out here now that I’m done painting.”

Laura laughed and acquiesced eagerly, burying her face against Carmilla’s neck again.  This, she could do.  After all, she was warmer than a human.


	6. a.k.a. the red k

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla was about to dial Laura’s number when she noticed Laura’s phone. On the floor in front of her bedside table. Broken. It looked like it had been smashed. Maybe Laura had hit it too hard when she went to turn her alarm off that morning. Never happened before, but what else could it have been?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER.
> 
> I've stopped watching Supergirl so it's been kind of hard to find inspiration. The last episode I watched was the Valentine's Day one and I couldn't even make it all the way through because I genuinely cannot stand Mon-El, like he makes my skin crawl. And up until that point it was legit my favorite show so that's been bumming me out a bit.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Here have some angst. I just gritted my teeth and plowed through it and I was still a day late for my tumblr pal Katey (a.k.a. dontletyourfeettouchground)'s birthday. Sorry! Better late than never I guess? Although it might be garbage I don't know, I haven't gone back and read through the last like half my bad.
> 
> EDIT: Shit I used the wrong version of my save, ummm so if you read this before 8pm central time it was the wrong ending! It's a little better now! MY BAD.

The first call came from Mattie.

It was past noon, but the call still woke Carmilla up.  She’d been out late the night before on a stakeout for a case she was working on.  Mattie didn’t seem deterred by Carmilla’s groggy answer when she jumped right in.

“What is going on with your wife, Carmilla?”

“Still my girlfriend, Mattie,” Carmilla grunted, sitting up and rubbing her eyes with her free hand.  “What do you mean what’s going on?”

“Is she on some new medication I should know about?  Are you fighting?  Are you trying something new in bed?” Mattie rattled off.

“No, no, and none of your business,” Carmilla yawned.

“Well she’s had a rather drastic change of attitude in the past twenty-four hours, and I’m not sure if I like it or detest it.”

Carmilla looked over at Laura’s side of the bed with a frown.  When Carmilla had climbed into bed last night, Laura had smelled like a bonfire.  She woke just enough to murmur that she’d saved some firefighters from a rooftop explosion and she had showered but she still smelled like smoke, mumbling an apology against Carmilla’s lips.  Carmilla had just laughed and told her she liked it, and Laura had fallen back to sleep with a smile on her face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Carmilla sighed as she stretched.  “I mean she left before I woke up this morning.  Maybe something happened on her way to work.”

Mattie just hummed skeptically at the other end of the line.

“We’re not fighting, Mattie, I swear,” Carmilla grumbled, and she heard Mattie sigh.

“Alright then.  I’ll update you on the like-versus-detest status later.”

“You do that.”

Mattie hung up without another word and Carmilla was about to dial Laura’s number when she noticed Laura’s phone.  On the floor in front of her bedside table.  Broken.

Carmilla frowned again.  It looked like it had been smashed.  Maybe Laura had hit it too hard when she went to turn her alarm off that morning.  Never happened before, but what else could it have been?

Despite her best efforts, Carmilla began to worry.

* * *

 

The second call came from Betty.

It was early in the evening and Carmilla was camped out on a fire escape with her camera, waiting for her mark to show up at the hotdog stand across the street.  She probably missed him; she’d spent too much time at home fretting, calling Laura’s work phone and getting no answer until she finally left a nervous, rambling message for her that she was immediately embarrassed about.

There was probably nothing wrong.  Mattie was prone to overreaction.  And now she had probably missed getting the potentially incriminating photos she needed and yet she couldn’t bring herself to care because dammit she was worried.

When her phone rang, she picked it up so fast she didn’t even see who was calling.

“Hello?  Laura?”

“No, but she’s the reason I called,” Betty said, and she sounded about as concerned as Carmilla felt.  Carmilla’s heart dropped.

“Oh god, is she hurt?  What happened?” Carmilla blurted, already standing up and preparing to jump down from her perch.

“No, no, she’s not hurt,” Betty said quickly, and Carmilla slowly sat back down.  “She’s just… I don’t know.  Have you talked to her at all today?”

“No, I’ve been trying to call her at work but she won’t answer,” Carmilla sighed, leaning forward a bit and resting her forehead against the metal railing in front of her.  “I found her broken phone next to the bed when I woke up, looked like she crushed it.”

“Hm.  Okay.  That’s…” Betty trailed off and Carmilla swallowed hard.  “She’s been acting odd today.  I’m worried about her but… she just brushed me off and left after our op went bad.”

“Op?”

She could practically hear Betty’s eye roll.

“You know I can’t tell you the details, Karnstein,” she laughed.  “But… I don’t know, she was off her game, let a perp get away when she should have taken him down easily.  I’ve never really seen her in a mood like this.”

“Mattie called me earlier and said something similar,” Carmilla muttered, grunting a bit as she got back to her feet and made the jump down to the street.  “But you said she left the DEO?  Did she say she was going home?”

“Like I said, she didn’t say much,” Betty sighed.  “But I can only assume she headed home.  Maybe you can get her to tell you what’s wrong.”

“I have to find her first,” Carmilla laughed darkly.  “I’ll let you know, okay?  I’m sure she’s fine.”

Betty just hummed, sounding so similar to how Mattie had earlier it was creepy.  Had they been hanging out or something?  Carmilla shook her head.  One problem at a time.

“Okay, thanks.  See you around.”

Carmilla walked home a little faster than normal.

She got home and found the apartment just the way she’d left it.  Empty.  Laura’s broken phone on the kitchen island so she remembered to ask about it.  She slammed the door a bit harder than she meant to and heard something break, but she didn’t care.  She was stressed out.  She at least took the care to put her camera down on the counter instead of throwing it across the room.

After half an hour pacing the apartment, Carmilla settled grumpily on the couch.  Another half hour later and the sun had set, Carmilla was falling asleep on the couch, and the door finally opened.

“Laura!”

Carmilla was up and across the apartment before Laura was all the way in.  Granted, she paused in the doorway when she noticed that it was broken.  And Carmilla nearly knocked her into the hallway with the force of her hug, only noticing the numerous shopping bags hanging from Laura’s arms when they got crunched between them.

“Carm, hey, what’s the deal?” Laura laughed, returning the hug eagerly despite her confusion.  There were a few moments of confusion in which they both almost fell over trying to get into the apartment and closing the door behind them, but as soon as they were in Carmilla took Laura’s face in her hands and looked anxiously into her eyes.

“Are you okay?” Carmilla asked seriously, leaning in for a quick kiss in spite of herself.  “Betty called and said you were off today and you wouldn’t talk to her, and I was calling you at work all day but you wouldn’t answer and you broke your phone this morning, and Mattie said you were acting different and then you took forever to come home and I was worried, shit.”

Carmilla took a deep breath, having expelled all of her words in a single lungful, and Laura just laughed again and dropped all of her bags on the floor to properly wrap her arms around Carmilla’s waist.

“I’m fine, Carm, I’m sorry I worried you,” she said quietly, sneaking a couple more quick kisses in between her words.  “It’s been kind of a weird day.”

She bent down suddenly and scooped one of the bags off the floor.

“I brought your favorite for dinner,” she sang, swinging the bag on her finger.

Carmilla frowned suspiciously.

“Greek?”

“You know it.  Extra dolmades.”

After as long a pause as she could manage, Carmilla cracked a smile.  She dragged Laura into the kitchen, leaving the rest of her bags by the door.  It was only when Carmilla had stacked their plates and flatware on the counter that she noticed what Laura was wearing.

“Whoa,” was all she could manage right away, openly gaping at Laura as she unpacked the takeout containers from the bag.  Laura gave her a smug little grin and a quick spin to show off the back of the fitted dress she was wearing, long sleeved and dark blue and just a little shimmery, ending at her knees and showing off the silvery gray high heels she was wearing.

“You like?” Laura teased, and Carmilla had to force her eyes up to Laura’s face.  Laura’s face, with sharply winged eyeliner behind her glasses, framed by her hair tied up in an elegant knot at the back of her head.  Carmilla swallowed hard.

She looked different.

She had been so relieved that she was okay when she first came through the door, it had taken this long for it to sink in.  But she was different.

“You look beautiful,” Carmilla said softly, sincerely.  But Laura clearly heard the pause in her voice, because she just quirked an eyebrow in response.  “Is that what’s in the rest of the bags?  New wardrobe?”

“Yep,” Laura said with a shrug, dishing out the food and seating herself at the kitchen island.  She took a few big bites before Carmilla sat down and twirled her fork idly between her fingers.  “Well, and a new phone.  That was the start of the weird day.  I don’t know what happened, really.  The alarm just seemed more annoying than usual and I guess I overdid it on the snooze button.”  She shrugged again, watching Carmilla eat for a moment with a thoughtful frown.  “Things on this planet are so fragile.”

Carmilla stopped mid-bite and looked up, but Laura was already back into her food.  That was an odd thing to say.  In fact, she couldn’t remember Laura ever saying anything like that before.

“I guess I’ve just been in a mood today,” Laura went on lightly.  “I feel like I’m in a rut.  Like I’ve been…  hiding, for a crazy long time.  And I don’t want to anymore.”  She sat up a little straighter in her seat without seeming to notice.  “I’m powerful, you know?  And I don’t care who knows it.  So I’m going to start dressing like it.”

Carmilla nodded, chewing slowly to give herself time to think.  Mattie had been right.  This was a very sudden change in attitude.

“Well, like I said, you look gorgeous,” Carmilla finally said, and Laura smiled brightly at that.  “So if this is something you want to do, then you should do it.”  Laura hummed a bit at that, pleased, and Carmilla reached across the table for her hand.  “It does seem a little sudden, though.  Is everything okay?”

“There it is,” Laura sighed, rolling her eyes and pulling her hand out of Carmilla’s.  “You sound just like your sister.  And my sister, come to think of it.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t change things if you want to,” Carmilla said quickly, frowning.  “I just want to make sure there isn’t a reason I don’t know about, that’s all.”

“Maybe that is the reason,” Laura snipped.  “I’m tired of everyone acting like they know me better than I know myself.  Mattie does it, Betty does it, Mel does it, I wasn’t expecting you to do it too.”

Carmilla shook her head, brow furrowing, but Laura just held a hand up to stop her from speaking.

“There’s no underlying reason, okay?  I just want to be more like myself and less like what everyone wants me to be.”

“Okay,” Carmilla said quietly, and Laura just went back to her food.  “As long as you’re doing it for you.”

“I am.”

Carmilla smiled a bit.

“Well just in case you need to hear it, I’m in love with you the way you are,” she said lightly, and Laura glanced up at her.  “But I’ll love you no matter what.”

A smile slowly broke over Laura’s face.

“Well how am I supposed to stay grumpy with you when you say sweet stuff like that?”

The rest of the evening was uneventful.  Laura showed off all the new clothes she’d bought, which Carmilla was very complimentary and appreciative of.  Then she went to bed early, complaining of having a headache since last night.

Carmilla pulled out her phone as soon as Laura was asleep.

 _Laura got home okay, went shopping for a new wardrobe_ , she texted to Betty.  _You were right, she’s not acting like herself._

 _“Did you talk to her about it? Did she tell you what’s wrong?”_ Betty sent back almost immediately.

_She says she’s tired of being who everyone wants her to be instead of who she wants to be?  I dunno, seems kind of sudden.  She’s been on edge all evening and she went to bed early.  Has she ever had a headache before?_

_“Not that I can remember.  There might be more to this than meets the eye if it’s affecting her physically.  Did she say when the headache started?”_

_Last night, right after she helped put out that fire._

Several minutes passed before Betty responded.

_“I’ll look into it.  Keep in touch.”_

Carmilla let out a long sigh and ran a hand through her hair.  Maybe she was overreacting.  Maybe Laura just had an off day.  Maybe everything would be okay.

Or maybe something was really wrong.

Laura was already fast asleep when Carmilla went to bed.  Usually, even in her sleep, Laura would turn and cuddle up to Carmilla as soon as she was in the bed.  Tonight, Laura was still as stone, curled up in a ball on her side of the bed.

Carmilla didn’t sleep much that night.

* * *

 

The bed was cold when Carmilla woke up the next morning.  Laura had left without a word.  She usually stopped to kiss Carmilla’s forehead and tell her she loved her before she went to work.

Not today.

She tried to go about her business as usual, finally getting the pictures she needed for her client after sitting on the same fire escape as yesterday for another few hours.

But Betty kept texting her throughout the day, and it was clearly not business as usual.  They caught the perp that Laura had failed to catch, only to learn from him that she had let him go.  Carmilla had tried calling Laura’s new phone, but she went straight to voicemail.

In the late afternoon, Carmilla slumped back into the apartment with a sore back from the fire escape and a headache from the stress of worrying.  She hadn’t had an update from Betty in a while and Laura still wasn’t taking her calls.  She was so on edge she nearly broke the couch when the apartment door opened suddenly.

“Laura?” Carmilla asked, confused.  It wasn’t nearly late enough for Laura to be home from work.  And as Laura closed the apartment door behind her, Carmilla noticed what she was wearing.  She swallowed hard.  “You look… wow.”

Laura was in a form-fitting black dress with a high collar and no sleeves, showing off the muscle tone in her arms.  Her hair was up again, like yesterday, and if possible her eyeliner was even sharper today.  Carmilla’s fingers twitched.

“I see I have your attention,” Laura said with a smirk.

A smirk.

Laura was smirking.

Carmilla wet her lips and took a slow breath, grasping for her composure.

“You’re um… you’re home early,” she stammered, and she visibly winced at how flustered she sounded.  Laura started moving toward her slowly, and alarm bells went off somewhere in the back of Carmilla’s mind.  The way she was moving, the way she was carrying herself, all of it screamed danger.  But she stood her ground and told the voice in her head to shut up, because this was Laura.

“I wanted to see you, so I left,” Laura said with a smile that seemed to show too many of her teeth.  She stopped just in front of Carmilla, mere inches separating them, and reached back with one hand to let her hair down.  Carmilla had to literally bite her tongue to keep her focus and drag her eyes up from Laura’s hips.  “You really like this dress, don’t you?” Laura laughed, and Carmilla felt herself blushing.  “I do too.  So much better than dressing like a grandma.”

And then Laura’s arms were around her waist, pulling her in close and trailing wet little kisses down the side of her neck that had Carmilla’s breath stuttering in her chest.  “It was all calculated, you know.  The cardigans and the plaid and the ponytails.  Makes Laura Hollis look unassuming.  No one would ever think sweet little Laura with her pastels and her pleats could be Supergirl.”

“So you don’t, uh… don’t want to throw people off of your trail anymore?” Carmilla asked carefully, struggling to hold onto the scraps of her focus when Laura’s fingers dug into her hips a bit and she laughed lightly against the place where her jaw met her neck.

“Why should I?” Laura breathed, and Carmilla knew Laura could hear her heart race because she laughed again.  “I like this.  I feel better.  I feel… powerful.”

“Don’t you always?” Carmilla murmured, and she only realized Laura had backed her into the couch when the backs of her knees hit it and sent her tumbling back into the cushions.  Laura was on her immediately, dress hiked up dangerously high so she could straddle Carmilla and pin her down.

“The way I shackle myself every day?  No, I don’t always feel powerful,” Laura scoffed, and before Carmilla could respond Laura’s mouth was on hers, pressing her back into the couch with a dominating kiss.  Carmilla was left panting when Laura finally pulled back, and Laura just grinned and waited for her to catch her breath.

“What do you mean, shackle?” Carmilla asked lowly.  She tried to sit up a bit but Laura wouldn’t let her, keeping her pinned down without any visible effort.

“Morality,” Laura sighed, tossing her hair over her shoulder like she was irritated and leaning back down into Carmilla’s space again.  “It’s boring and I’m sick of it.  I can take what I want, so why shouldn’t I?”

This time, Carmilla managed to throw her off balance enough to sit up, holding Laura at bay with a hand planted firmly on her shoulder.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Carmilla growled, and Laura’s eyes narrowed at her tone.  “Is this some kind of joke?”

“The only joke is how much I’ve held myself back,” Laura replied, her voice dropping low.  “How much you hold yourself back.”

“What?”

“Come on, Carm,” Laura snapped, slapping Carmilla’s hand off of her shoulder so hard it stung.  Carmilla was sitting up fully now, scrambling back against the arm of the couch, but Laura followed and pinned her by her hips again.  “You’re so strong.  Not as strong as me, but stronger than almost everyone else in this mess of a city.  You have all this power and what do you do with it?  Chase down bail jumpers?  Serve subpoenas?  Scare adulterers back to their wives?”

“Laura,” Carmilla blurted, wincing when Laura’s hand closed around her arm and pushed her back against the arm of the couch to hold her still.

There was a fire in Laura’s eyes that Carmilla didn’t recognize.  It was dark and it was furious, and Carmilla’s heart raced with fear.  This wasn’t Laura.  It couldn’t be.  Something was incredibly wrong.

“You could be out there, with me, fighting,” Laura went on as if she hadn’t heard.  “You should be.  Instead of hiding behind your camera, hiding from your own strength.”

“Laura, stop,” Carmilla said firmly, but Laura just squeezed her arm harder.

“But you’re so damn scared of everything,” Laura shouted, and Carmilla started to panic in earnest.  She tried to wrench herself free of Laura’s hold, but Laura barely even flinched.  “You’re scared of yourself, you’re scared of me, and why?  Because your family died?  Because your first girlfriend died?”

“Laura, please-”

“My whole planet died,” Laura roared, and Carmilla couldn’t even recognize her anymore.  “My family, my home, my friends, everything I knew was destroyed.  And I have all this power, I try to protect this city, and what do I get?  Suspicion.  Fear.”  Laura was shaking with anger and Carmilla took a deep breath.  “I’ve given these humans everything.  I’ve given them everything and they call me a menace.  They say alien like it’s a dirty word.  I’ll give them something to fear.”

“Laura,” Carmilla shouted as loud as she could, and Laura blinked in surprise.  Carmilla looked her dead in the eyes.  “You’re hurting me.  Please.  Stop.”

Laura was perfectly still for a few long moments.  Carmilla could see the struggle in her eyes, in her jaw clenching tight and her breath catching in her chest.  She abruptly let go of Carmilla’s arm, staring at her own hand like she didn’t recognize it.

“That’s it, fight it,” Carmilla whispered, and Laura looked back at her with eyes wide in confusion and anger.  “Whatever it is, whoever it is that’s in your head.  Fight it, Laura.  Come back to me.”

Then Carmilla saw something that didn’t make sense.  All the veins in Laura’s forehead and around her eyes glowed briefly, lighting up from within with something red.  She closed her eyes and shook her head like she was trying to shake off a fly.  Then she scrambled back, off of Carmilla, and before another word could be said she was gone, and she had slammed the broken door behind her so hard it fell right off its hinges.

Carmilla sat there on the couch, shaking, until she could feel the bruises on her arm starting to heal.

Then she called Betty.

“What the hell happened to her?” Carmilla said by way of greeting.  “Who did this to her?”

“I was just about to call you,” Betty said, and she sounded about as serious as Carmilla had ever heard her.  “What happened?”

“She almost broke my arm, Betty,” Carmilla replied angrily, finally getting up from the couch.  It immediately fell apart, having apparently broken under Laura’s force.  Broken phone, broken door, broken couch.  Great.  “And now she’s gone.  So you better have some fucking answers.”

“You know the name Theo Straka?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Carmilla grunted.  Everybody knew the name Theo Straka, genius CEO of Straka Technologies and all around asshole when it came to Supergirl.

“Well he surrendered himself to the DEO a few hours ago,” Betty continued, and Carmilla could tell by the sound of her voice that she was walking briskly.  “He tried to make synthetic kryptonite and it backfired.”

Carmilla didn’t even realize she’d been pacing until she stopped dead in her tracks.

“You mean he did this to her?”

“Yep.  He calls it ‘Red K,’ and apparently it’s been slowly taking over her brain since that rooftop fire two days ago.”

“Shit,” Carmilla sighed, running a hand over her face.  “Shit.  Can you fix her?”

“That’s what we’ve been working on,” Betty sighed.  “We’re almost done.  Straka is helping us make a ray gun that should reverse the effects when we hit her with it.”

Carmilla’s stomach twisted into a knot, seized with worry.  Straka, gun, and hit her with it were not things that sounded good when put together.

“Is it going to hurt her?” she asked slowly.

“No.  It shouldn’t.  The problem now is finding her.”

“Yeah, before she hurts someone,” Carmilla snapped.  “I don’t think you realize the gravity of this, Betty.  She is not herself.  She scared the hell out of me.”

There was a pause.  Carmilla practically ground her teeth in irritation.

“Okay.  I’m going to my apartment right now to see if she’s there.  You go to MatCo.  The antidote is almost done,” Betty rattled off.  Then she was silent again for a few moments.  “Just keep in touch, okay?”

“You too,” Carmilla warned.  “I’d rather I found her than you.  I’ll heal faster if something happens.”

There was another long pause in which the weight of the situation settled heavily on both of them.

“I’ll check in soon.”

Betty hung up and Carmilla let out a long, slow breath.  She couldn’t let herself be scared.  There wasn’t time.  Laura needed her.  Laura was in trouble, and she could hurt someone, and Carmilla had to stop her.

She set her jaw and walked out of the apartment, stepping over the door that was still lying on the floor and leaving it there without a second’s hesitation.

* * *

 

By the time Carmilla reached MatCo, Supergirl was already flying away from Mattie’s balcony at high speed.  After a brief phone conversation with Mattie in which she demanded to know why Supergirl had just threatened to throw her off her own balcony and Carmilla had explained what was happening with some particularly creative curses, Carmilla started heading toward the DEO.

Halfway there, Betty called.  Laura had gone to her apartment.  Betty had tried to reason with her, tell her she was sick.  Her mind wasn’t under her own control.  But Laura had not been interested.

Carmilla didn’t realize she didn’t know where to go next until she had already hung up with Betty.  So she just followed the sound of explosions to the city center as midnight quickly approached.

The first thing Carmilla saw when she rounded the corner into the city center was fire.  Lines of fire all along the street, cutting through police cars.  Fire from beams of heat vision.

Once her eyes adjusted to the brightness, she finally saw Laura.

And she had a new look.

In place of her skirt and cape, Laura was wearing a black jumpsuit with the coat of arms of the House of El small and relegated to the corner.  She was floating up above the fire, eyes glowing red.  As Carmilla ran toward her, a fleet of black SUV’s pulled up and Laura didn’t even blink.  She shot her heat vision into the street right in front the lead car, bringing the line to a screeching halt.

Carmilla ran faster.

It was like everything was happening in slow motion.  DEO agents came piling out of the cars, firing round after round of ammunition that bounced harmlessly off of Laura as she laughed.  Betty jumped out of the second car holding a particularly large and somewhat scary-looking gun, but Laura was unfazed.  She swooped down the line faster than Carmilla could blink, knocking every agent down and sending the big scary gun clattering to the ground.

“Classic Betty,” Laura taunted, floating down toward the ground.  “Always in time to ruin the fun.”

Mel jumped out of the last truck, racing toward Laura and Betty just as fast as Carmilla was.

“Supergirl,” Betty gasped, sitting up against the truck  “I want to help you.”

“Supergirl!” Mel roared, barreling toward Laura at full tilt.  “No!”

“Doesn’t look like help to me,” Laura said with a roll of her eyes.  As soon as Mel reached her, she just tossed her aside and sent her slamming into the ground.

“Supergirl, no!  Please!” Carmilla shouted, and for the first time Laura’s eyes met hers.  She was almost there.  Almost.  “You have to stop!”

But Laura just turned her gaze back to her sister, eyes glowing bright white and red veins spreading out across her face like tree branches.

“Nothing on Earth can stop me,” Laura whispered, just in time for Carmilla to slam into her at thirty miles per hour.

Carmilla locked her arms around her as they smashed into the ground, holding tight despite the pain lancing through her arms and chest the moment Laura started to struggle.

“Betty!” Carmilla grunted, digging her fingers into her own wrists to lock her grip around Laura’s arms harder.  Laura screamed and thrashed and Carmilla felt her ribs breaking.  “Now!”

Carmilla distantly heard the sound of the gun going off, and the seconds crawled by before Laura went rigid.  She convulsed in Carmilla’s arms, screaming, for the longest five seconds of Carmilla’s life, before she finally went limp.

Carmilla let her go, crying out in pain as she did so.  It wasn’t just her ribs that were broken.  Her left arm, too, and probably her right wrist.  She lied on the ground, gasping for breath, ears ringing, and heard the muffled sound of someone shouting her name before she passed out.

* * *

 

“Did I kill anyone?”

Carmilla stirred at the sound of Laura’s voice.  She had been unconscious for hours and Carmilla had been at her side the whole time.  Betty had been too, and apparently she hadn’t fallen asleep because Carmilla heard her respond.

“No,” she said immediately.  “No, you didn’t kill anyone.”

There was a moment of quiet in which Carmilla could hear Laura starting to cry.  It was hard, but she kept her eyes closed.  She knew Betty and Laura needed a moment to themselves.

But it was really hard to pretend to be asleep when Laura let out a sob.  Especially since Carmilla was so close, as she had simply pulled her chair right up to the side of the table Laura was lying on and leaned over to rest her head in the space beside Laura’s waist.

Still, she managed it, not moving a muscle and trying not to listen to the sisters’ tearful conversation. 

It helped that she was fading in and out of consciousness the whole time.  In fact, she managed to fall back to sleep for a bit, only to be awoken by the door closing behind Betty when she left the room.

“Laura,” she murmured, blearily opening her eyes and sitting up slowly.  Laura was staring at her, still lying flat on the table, and the moment their eyes met Laura’s filled with tears.

“Your arm…” she began, her voice cracking over the words.  Carmilla glanced down at her arm, having already forgotten the sling she was in.

“Already healing, darling,” she whispered, reaching forward with her free hand and brushing tears away from Laura’s cheeks.  “I’ll be good as new in a couple days, don’t worry.”

But Laura was just shaking her head, tears running down her face every time she closed her eyes.

“Carm, I’m so sorry,” she said in a broken voice.  “It was so horrible, Carm, it was just… every bad thought I’d ever had came to the surface and I couldn’t stop it.  I couldn’t stop any of it.”  She was gasping with sobs now, body shaking with grief and Carmilla felt tears prickling at her own eyes just seeing her in so much pain.  “The things I said… I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean any of it.  And I hurt you…”

“Hey,” Carmilla interrupted gently, but Laura wouldn’t even look at her.  “Sweetheart, this wasn’t your fault.  None of this was your fault.”

“But it was me, Carm.  It was all me, I did all of it and I just… all those thoughts were already there, all those feelings,” Laura choked on her words, voice thick and shaking.  She put a hand over her eyes and let out another sob that broke Carmilla’s heart.

“It was you, you’re right,” Carmilla blurted, and Laura closed her eyes tighter under her hand. “But it wasn’t your fault, there’s a difference.”

Laura was shaking her head again, so Carmilla reached forward and grabbed the hand she had over her eyes.

“There was something in your brain, Laura,” Carmilla said firmly, and Laura finally looked at her.  “It was literally affecting your brain, you can’t control that.  You can’t stop that.  Trust me.”  Carmilla sighed and looked down, nervously slipping her fingers into Laura’s to stop them from twitching.  “If anyone knows that, it’s me.”

There was a pause then as Laura remembered, realized just how well Carmilla understood what had happened to her.

“Carm…” she said softly, and Carmilla squeezed her hand.

“You weren’t at the controls, you know?” Carmilla continued quietly, hesitantly meeting Laura’s eyes again.  “Something else was controlling you.  For me it was a person, for you it was this… ‘red k’ stuff that Straka made.  And don’t worry, I already broke his nose for it.”

“You didn’t.”

“He’s lucky I didn’t break more.”

Laura managed just the barest hint of a smile at that and Carmilla managed a small one in return.

“That stuff, it was altering your brain chemistry,” Carmilla went on slowly.  The tears seemed to be slowing, but they were still there.  There was still so much pain in Laura’s eyes.  “It just amplified all your anger and sadness, and that stuff tends to smother things like compassion and kindness.  You couldn’t help it, Laura.”

Laura’s breathing evened out a bit, but she was still shaking and hiccupping with repressed sobs as Carmilla reached up again and wiped away more tears.

“The people… the city…” she whispered at length, and Carmilla swallowed hard.

“That’s going to be the tough part,” she admitted quietly, and Laura closed her eyes.  “But Mattie knows what happened.  She can help spread the word that it was Straka’s fault, not yours.”

“This isn’t all on him, Carm… I’m the one that destroyed that city street, all those police cars…”

“And all that can be fixed,” Carmilla cut in.  Laura glanced at her warily and Carmilla sighed.  “I know this hurts, and I know it’s hard.  I did some… some awful things when I wasn’t in control.”  She paused, thumb rubbing slow circles on the inside of Laura’s wrist.  “And it’s going to be hard for a while.  But I’m not going anywhere, okay?  We’ll get through this together.”

Laura’s eyes were still full of tears, but she nodded and squeezed Carmilla’s hand.

“I love you,” she whispered, and Carmilla tugged their intertwined fingers up to her lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles.  She loved this girl so much it ached sometimes, but it was a good ache.  The kind that made her feel whole.

“I love you too.”

Carmilla scooted her chair up closer to Laura’s head and kissed her temple softly.  Laura leaned into her touch with a quiet sigh.  They sat in silence for a little while, Laura’s sobbing calming down into quiet sniffles while Carmilla just held her hand.

“So I’ve been thinking…” Carmilla said once Laura’s breathing was back to normal.  “About something you said yesterday.”  Laura tensed, but Carmilla just held her hand tighter and went on.  “That I could be out there by your side, you know, when you need me.”  Laura’s eyes went wide and Carmilla hummed thoughtfully.  “Maybe it’s time for me to suit up.”

Laura smiled for the first time in three days.


	7. a.k.a. the flying lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura wasn’t doing so great lately. It had only been three weeks since the Red K incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the Carmilla Movie was amazing and I am an emotional mess. It also gave me the motivation to finish this chapter finally. You guys... Hollstein... they just really love each other and I have a lot of feelings.

It took almost three hours to fly from National City to Smallville.

Laura had never flown that route before.  She had visited Smallville a few times when she was younger, but back then the Hollises wouldn’t let her use her powers.  She’d flown in an airplane.

This was her first time back since she became Supergirl.

When she touched down outside the farmhouse, immediately taking Carmilla into her arms to warm her up, she couldn’t help but notice that the place hadn’t changed a bit.  It was nice.  Comforting.  Something to come back to with everything changing so much in her life.

“Hey,” Carmilla said softly, and Laura blinked at her, pulling herself back to the present.  Carmilla reached up and took her face in her hands, smiling at her patiently.  “You okay?  I lost you for a second there.”

“I’m fine, sorry,” Laura laughed, shaking her head a bit.  Carmilla’s fingers skimmed her cheek when she tucked some stray hairs behind her ear for her.  “This place just… hasn’t changed.”

“When were you here last?” Carmilla asked, taking her hand and turning them toward the front porch.

“I guess when I was sixteen?” Laura hummed, swinging their hands between them a bit as they approached the door.  “It’s been a while.”

They visited briefly with Laura’s Aunt Martha, long enough for her to fawn over how grown up and lovely Laura had gotten and how beautiful Carmilla was and how nice it was of them to stop by.

And then they went out to the wheat field for the real reason they’d come to the farm.

Carmilla was learning to fly today.

After having to tiptoe around the subject for almost a year, Laura was downright shocked when Carmilla suggested it earlier in the week.  But as soon as she got over her surprise, she had made Carmilla swear, pinky swear even, that she didn’t just want to do this to make Laura feel better.

Because Laura wasn’t doing so great lately.

It had only been three weeks since the Red K incident.

And Carmilla had admitted that was part of the reason.  But she also promised that she really did want to help Laura when she needed it, and she’d been thinking about this for a while now, and the better she was with her own powers the more help she would be.

Laura accepted that.  After all, she had her own motives.  Motives she would never share with Carmilla.

The stronger Carmilla got, the better off she’d be if she ever had to stop Laura.

So there was a lot of meaning to this, for both of them.

“Okay, show me what you can do,” Laura said, backing away from Carmilla and jerking her chin up toward the sky.  “I’ll catch you if you need it.”

Carmilla nodded, looking at her feet as she shifted her weight back and forth.  Up to this point she had been all breezy confidence, but now she looked nervous.  It was actually really sweet.

“There are no other people for miles around,” Laura reminded her, and Carmilla met her eyes again.  “Just you and me.  And Aunt Martha, but she’s watching her soaps.”  Carmilla laughed a little at that.  “No cameras around, no planes overhead.”  Laura paused and looked up, lifting her glasses away from her eyes for a moment.  “Not even a satellite.”  Another quiet laugh and Laura smiled.  “Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay,” Carmilla said, almost as much to herself as to Laura.  She took a few more moments to psych herself up and Laura waited patiently.  The smile was coming to her face more naturally now, she realized.  She was excited.  It had been a while since she hadn’t had to force herself to be happy.

And then Carmilla jumped.

Laura leapt into the air beside her, maintaining a safe distance but staying close enough that she’d be able to catch her if she had to.  But Carmilla didn’t need a save, jumping in a smooth arc and landing hard thirty yards from where she started.  Laura touched down in front of her, catching her by her forearms when she stumbled a bit from her landing.

“That was great!” Laura said, nearly breathless with excitement, and Carmilla grinned up at her.  She looked a little windswept, but otherwise fine.

“Yeah that felt good,” she laughed, squeezing Laura’s arms for reassurance.  She looked back over her shoulder.  “How high did I go?”

“Almost two stories,” Laura guessed, squinting up toward the sky over Carmilla’s shoulder.  She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing a smiling kiss to Carmilla’s lips.  Carmilla hummed into it, pleased.

“Felt higher,” she teased.

“Okay let’s go again,” Laura replied excitedly.  “See if you can do better.”

“Bring it on.”

They spent the next two hours in and above the wheat fields, Laura only needing to swoop in and grab Carmilla a couple of times to avoid her landing on her face.  They tried jumping for a while, Carmilla managing to go a little farther and a little higher each time, but she couldn’t seem to sustain flight quite yet.  Laura even carried her up a hundred feet and dropped her, at Carmilla’s own insistence, to see if she could catch herself and hover.

She managed to slow her descent enough to land softly, and Laura got so excited she immediately tackled Carmilla to the ground.

“Okay, see, I thought the point of the whole ‘dropping me’ thing was to get me to avoid being squashed into the dirt,” Carmilla laughed helplessly from where she was currently being squashed into the dirt by the force of Laura’s hug.

“I’m sorry,” Laura laughed right back.  “But also I’m not sorry because you’re doing so great!  I totally thought I’d have to catch you the first few times!”

Laura sat up, still straddling Carmilla’s hips but allowing her enough room to sit up on her elbows, and brushed some dirt from her arms and shoulders for her.

“Yeah well, avoiding becoming a human pancake is a good motivator,” Carmilla drawled, but neither of them could quite stop grinning.  “It’s so good to see you smiling again, cupcake.”

Laura could feel herself softening at that, feel the warmth spreading out from her chest.  While Laura had been quietly struggling these past few weeks, it was dear, sweet Carmilla that was trying to pull her out of it.  While Laura had been rushing away after stopping crimes and preventing accidents, not wanting to end up on the news again because they would inevitably play that same clip of her blasting apart a police car with her heat vision afterward and ask dramatically if she could be trusted, Carmilla had been making her favorite meals for dinner and bringing home violets and taking her out for ice cream.

“It’s because of you,” Laura replied quietly after a few moments, and Carmilla glanced away, blushing.  Laura laughed a little and took Carmilla’s face in her hands, gently tilting her head back to meet her eyes again.  “I mean it.  Thank you.  For everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Carmilla muttered, but Laura just squished her cheeks until she laughed out a muffled “you’re welcome.”

Laura finally released her and got to her feet, pulling Carmilla up after her and making a big show of helping her brush the dirt off of her clothes until they were both giggling again.  They tried the dropping method two more times, leading to pretty much the same result of Carmilla slowing herself down, but she hovered for a couple seconds the last time and ended up pinned in the dirt again.

They went back into the farmhouse when Aunt Martha called across the field that there was lemonade.  She had also made cookies, and Carmilla couldn’t quite believe what a sweetheart she was.  They were all arguing over who would do the dishes when Laura heard the distinct sound of someone coming in for a landing on the front porch.  She grinned and skipped over to the door, leaving Aunt Martha on the verge of threatening Carmilla bodily harm to keep her from doing the dishes.  But the arguing stopped when Laura pulled the door open.

“Kal!” she said excitedly, jumping through the door and tackling her cousin in a hug that would have derailed a train.  But he just laughed and hugged her right back, swinging her around once and depositing her on her feet inside the house.  “I haven’t seen you in ages, how are you?”

“I’m great, Laur,” he grinned, ruffling her hair in a way that he knew she hated but he still did it anyway because it was funny.  “What are you doing here?  And who is uh…”

Carmilla was suddenly standing next to Laura, staring up at her cousin with wide eyes.  Laura gave her a confused look, but Carmilla didn’t even glance at her.  She looked… awestruck.  It was weird.

“Oh right, sorry,” Laura laughed, looping an arm around Carmilla’s waist.  “Kal, this is my girlfriend, Carmilla.  Carm, this is my cousin, Kal-El.”

“Nice to meet you, Carmilla,” Kal said with a smile, holding out his hand to shake.  Carmilla took it slowly, eyes never leaving his face.  “But besides Laur here, everyone else calls me Kirsch.  It’s my last name.”

“His adopted name is Wilson Kirsch,” Laura supplied.  Carmilla let go of his hand after a rather long, awkward shake.  “But I guess most people know him as-”

“Superman,” Carmilla said quietly.  Laura looked over at her again and realized quite suddenly that Carmilla was flat-out starstruck.  “Wow, it’s um… it’s so great to meet you.”

“Great to meet you too!  Laura talks about you all the time,” Kirsch teased, bumping Laura with his hips.  Laura scoffed and punched him in the arm.  It was a punch that would have taken her straight through a brick wall, but Kirsch just laughed.  She really loved hanging out with her cousin.  “What brings you out to the farm, Lora?”

Laura noticed Carmilla’s mouth twitch a bit and she couldn’t help but grin.  Carmilla was so used to hearing Laura speak Kryptonian with her fluent, genuine accent.  Kal had learned Kryptonian as a second language, from the information stored in the crystals Laura’s uncle had sent along with him in his pod.  His accent was different, enough that Carmilla could hear it in the one word he’d used, Laura’s Kryptonian name.

Betty, having learned Kryptonian directly from Laura while they were growing up, had a perfect accent.  Even Carmilla, who had only learned a few phrases, had a better accent than Kal.  And Carmilla recognized it.  And Laura felt another warm rush of affection toward her girlfriend.  What felt like the millionth rush just today.

“Flying lessons,” Laura replied, only realizing she was stroking her hand slowly across Carmilla’s lower back when she fidgeted a bit, ticklish.  “You always said the fields were a great place to practice, so I thought we’d test it out ourselves.  What about you?”

“Do I need a reason to drop by and visit my mom?” Kirsch asked, striding over to Aunt Martha, who had taken advantage of the distraction of her son arriving to start on the dishes.  He picked her up in a hug and moved her away from the sink, sliding into her place smoothly.  Aunt Martha huffed and immediately started trying to get back at the sink, but Kirsch wouldn’t have it and it was to the sound of them bickering that Laura and Carmilla slipped back outside.

“Holy shit,” Carmilla breathed as soon as they were out the door.  She ran a hand through her hair.  “Holy shit that was Superman.”  She turned to face Laura, eyes wide.  “I just met Superman.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Laura pouted, taking both of Carmilla’s hands in hers and stepping backward toward the field, slowly coaxing Carmilla along with her.  “I can do everything he can, you know.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Carmilla shook her head, flustered, and Laura burst out laughing.

“I’m teasing, dork,” she giggled, drawing Carmilla into her arms and pressing their foreheads together.  “If I’d known you were such a big fan I would have introduced you two ages ago.”

“I’m not a fan,” Carmilla grumbled, rolling her eyes.  Laura just raised an eyebrow at her and Carmilla blushed.  “Okay so I’m kind of a fan.  It’s just… when I first got these powers, I realized I could sort of… be like him.  He was kind of my idol.”

“Carm, that’s so sweet,” Laura said softly, squeezing Carmilla’s hips until she smiled too.  “I used to change his diapers, you know.”

“And now it’s weird,” Carmilla sighed, tipping her head forward and burying her face in Laura’s neck.  Laura laughed again, free and open, and for the first time in weeks she completely forgot about the Red K.

“Come on, it’s time to fly.”

It took another couple of hours, but Carmilla learned to fly that day.  They went back to jumping through the fields together, and eventually it happened.  She didn’t land.  She just stayed there, up in the air, and had only a few moments to celebrate before Laura tackled her to the ground again in her excitement.

They went home right after that, politely declining Aunt Martha’s offer for them to stay for dinner with her and Kirsch.

Laura had other plans for the evening.  Carmilla decided she wanted to learn to fly more often.


End file.
